Favorable Favor
by angelisis7
Summary: Things may not be perfect for Elizabeth, but things are finally coming together. Lucky and Ric are in the past and will stay there if she has anything to say about it. Now, she just needs to find the courage to ask her 'More than friend' for a favor…a large one. In theory it shouldn't be too hard, but in practice, she's having a harder time.
1. Chapter 1

This is my contribution to HH`s 5th Anniversary Challenge. Huge thanks to Deb for the idea and a huge thanks to my Beta James. Hope you all enjoy and will share your thoughts with me. Warning for language.

**Favorable Favor**

**"A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor."**

**Chapter One**

Nursing wasn't her big dream but it made the most sense. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she couldn't pin her hopes and dreams on something that didn't have any guarantees.

Painting would always be her first love but it would have to settle for being her passion now.

After everything Lucky put her through, there was no way she was going to rely on a man, at least not financially. She'd foolishly given him chance after chance and look where that had landed her, her supposed great love, shoving his brother down her throat.

It was his controlling nature that led her to start nursing school. Of course, everyone in her life believed she was doing it to follow, somewhat in her family's shoes, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

She was a compassionate being and helping others appealed to her. Tending to Jason all those years ago, told her she had the ability to do a good job. Now she'd be able to do a much better job of taking care of him…if only he stopped spouting danger.

Ever since her marriage to Ric fell apart, he cried danger at every turn. It was 'his' fault she even met Ric, it was 'his' fault that Ric tried to hurt her. It was 'his' fault that an enemy of his and Sonny's tried to hurt her and cost her, her baby…it was the same old tune, just different players setting it off this time.

Ric had been very unhappy with her going to school, but he learned he couldn't have his way in all things, when she made sure to sign up and get accepted before ever broaching the subject with him. She was even proactive enough to have purchased everything she'd need for her course.

Although, had he spoke of his displeasure, she probably would have found herself divorced sooner rather than later. His controlling nature jumped to epic proportions after she told him, there was no way she wasn't going to school. Everything else in her life was micromanaged.

That old adage, 'If I had known then what I know now…' Well, that would have saved her a lot of grief and her baby might not have died.

She wondered often if she wasn't doomed to be with a controlling, sometimes slightly, sometimes more than slightly, insane man. Lucky, even in the beginning had been a little controlling, wanting things done his way or else.

It wasn't the first time she questioned her dating smarts and wondered briefly if it would be the last. It was these thoughts that led to her ultimate plan and to the man she hoped would agree to her favor.

XxXxX

Jason was happy to be back home. Columbia was a beautiful country in its own right, but the drugs that seemed to practically flow in the water, making even the most honest of people paranoid and suspicious.

Thankfully, Jorge Lopez seemed trustworthy enough and was granted a time trial of seeing over their operations there.

He had his own enforcer, but Jason felt it prudent to send Johnny down until they could be absolutely sure of Jorge's loyalty.

Two weeks of paperwork and schmoozing finally tied everything up nicely, at least for the time being. The only real problem he encountered was Jorge's step-daughter, Amelia Collins. That woman was like a praying mantis slash hyena.

It was the first time he ever thought of seriously striking a woman. The first night there, she'd entered his bedroom and looked like she wanted to fuck and then behead him. Then there was the fact that every time he told her no or let her down nicely, she was back, hungrier than before for a different outcome.

Yes, he was very happy to be home. His last instructions to Jorge had been simple. "Amelia is never allowed to enter Port Charles city limits, EVER!"

Things at home were calm, no big bad waiting to reign down holy hell, yet. Francis kept him up to date on Elizabeth. That woman could find danger by just tripping over it. He may not be able to be in her life anymore, but she would always have a guard, even if she didn't know about it.

Another thing to be thankful for, he and Courtney were on the outs again, so his home was once again his. One of these day's he'd wake up and learn that it was never going to work. For now, she was a good hump and dump, he'd just never let Sonny hear him say that.

XxXxX

For over a month she'd been trying to work up the courage to ask Jason for a favor. Not just any favor, one that had far reaching consequences.

Every time she was in his presence, she would fumble over her words, ramble on and on and not once get to the point of her visit, yet.

Considering she'd been asked to not seek him out, she was doing the exact opposite of his request.

At first, she'd fought him tooth and nail about his choice. Tried to quote back to him, his reasoning that everyone could make up their own minds but, he found a flaw in his own reasoning and stuck to it like glue.

"Elizabeth, I value your opinion and decision making abilities, but in this instance, I chose to use my own opinion and follow it. You'll always be my friend, but it is no longer safe for us to remain so."

"Why can't we sneak around? Jason, I saved your life, I've seen the darker side of your business, and I know nothing is as it seems in your world but I'm not a scared little girl anymore. I've grown up faster than even I had hoped to, please don't do this. Don't tell me we can't be friends anymore."

"Sneaking around just begs for us to be caught and by the wrong people. Elizabeth, you'll always be my more than friend, but I won't risk you for that comfort. My decision is final."

He'd made that 'decision' more than six months ago and for most of it, she'd stuck to the rules but ever since this idea popped into her head, she was unable to banish it.

Most people would choose someone they could actually spend time with, choose someone without this type of baggage. He may have only been 'born' a few years ago but his life was a never-ending cycle of bad decisions, bad romantic choices, work and personal related baggage.

She still hadn't figured out why he just 'had' to be the one and if she were honest with herself, she had no desire to dig deeper to discover the reason. On the surface, it would seem like she was trying to get around Jason's decision of not seeing one another but she believed there was something more to it, she just refused to unearth that truth.

If she was meant to know, then her subconscious would drudge up the information when it was needed or ready to face the proverbial writing on the wall.

XxXxX

Grabbing her candy apple red cell phone for the fifth time, she actually managed to get all but two numbers dialed before she disconnected and resumed her pacing.

**_'One of these days you'll finally find the courage, hopefully before we are old and grey and the favor becomes moot!'_**

Realizing that phoning him and giving him a heads up of her arrival, was probably not her brightest idea, she tossed her phone into her purse and set it by the door.

With a plan fully set in her mind, Elizabeth dashed into her room and started tossing clothes every which way.

**_'What exactly are you dressing for? This isn't a date and more likely than not, he'll not be overly happy to see you. You know how he gets…'_**

Pretending ignorance, Elizabeth continued her perusal. The perfect outfit had to be here somewhere.

Finally she settled on a black wrap front skirt, a blue off the shoulder top that hugged her curves nicely and then paired it with blue ankle boots that matched her top almost perfectly.

She grabbed her Gucci watch, checked her hair and barely there makeup and quickly left the room, grabbing her purse on her way out of the apartment. If given the chance to procrastinate, she would likely spend all day and night reworking her clothes and anything else to postpose the talk.

**_'If you want to have this talk so bad and get him to agree to the favor so much, why are you procrastinating so much?'_**

It would be nice if she actually had an answer but she chose not to think about it too much or too deeply. Fearing overthinking would cause her to chicken out even more or back out entirely.

True to her new form, she sat in the parking space for her apartment for twenty minutes, practicing the conversation in her head, over and over again. Changing it up at almost every turn and then going back to her original planned conversation.

She almost jumped out of her skin and almost had to arrange a search party to find her heart, when a knock sounded on her driver side window.

Her girly shriek caused the knocker to shriek slightly himself.

Finding her heart was still in her chest and grateful for that small favor, Elizabeth rolled her window down.

"Francis!?"

"Elizabeth? Are you alright? You've been sitting here for an awful long time." Francis asked.

"Talk about scaring the…crap out of me! What are you doing here, are you spying on me?"

"I'm not spying, this is a shortcut to Kelly's, I just happened to see you leave your apartment and I was going to come over and say hi, but you've been sitting here for…a time and it looked like you were having an interesting conversation. Far be it from me to interrupt."

"Why do you think I doubt the veracity of your statement Francis?"

"I wouldn't know, it was the truth, maybe you're paranoid."

"Me? Nope, I'm not paranoid, where did you get an idea like that?"

"Oh…just a hunch, perhaps…"

"Did…did someone say I was acting paranoid, because I'm not you know. Francis I am the very opposite of paranoid…what is the opposite of paranoid? What would I have to be paranoid about, I've done nothing wrong, I'm not hiding anything…I am the picture of innocence. If people are talking, I need to know who they are, because I need to put a stop to this ridiculous idea that I'm paranoid. I'm not! Stop smirking Francis, it is unbecoming!"

"Says the paranoid rambler at rapid-fire speed…Elizabeth, how many coffees did you consume today?"

"You know damn well that I don't drink that black sludge. Could you imagine me hyped up on that crap…to say the least that would be SCARY? Although, there is this lovely drink, it's called an Iced Capp…I may or may not have had one or two large ones today."

"So, what was your poison today or was the Iced Capp the only thing?"

"I may or may not have imbibed in four…maybe five hot chocolates and had a handful or two of chocolate covered coffee beans…I did have two Mango Hurricane smoothies too, of course, I probably should have left off the extra shots of energy…"

"No wonder you are vibrating out of your skin. Do you really think it wise to be driving in your condition?"

"…I'm fine…and…I have to go…"

She didn't give him a chance to say anything, just rolled the window up, started the car and backed up. He was a smart man; he'd move out of the way or suffer the consequences of his stupidity.

Nevertheless, he was probably right. She was a jumbled mess of jittery nerves and suffering from a slight form of a panic attack. This had to go right; otherwise, all her plans would go up in smoke.

As she pulled up to the Towers and then into a parking space, Elizabeth was overcome with a loss of nerves, everything was riding on her making the perfect pitch, if she screwed up, she could be denied and then what would she do?

Unsure how long she sat there, Elizabeth began to once again go over her speech that Francis had so rudely interrupted.

**_'You do realize you were only speaking to yourself and not getting very far at that, right?'_**

Realizing that the first signs of madness was responding to one's own thoughts, she kept her lips zipped and finally forced herself from the vehicle.

She didn't need anyone else seeing her carrying on a single sided conversation, for that too would probably hinder her ability to convince Jason.

Not wanting to risk another false start and then a mad dash out of the penthouse, Elizabeth straightened the steel – maybe it was an alloy or a metal like substance - which she knew resided in her spine and punched the elevator button for the penthouse.

Arriving on the penthouse floor caused a few heart palpitations but regulating her breathing seemed to work to control them.

She knocked once and then again and then again. It had definitely been a bad idea to consume that much caffeine before endeavoring on something so sensitive.

About to knock for a fourth time, her fist was raised when the door suddenly jerked open and an unhappy Jason stared down at her. His jaw clenched tightly, his lips almost an invisible slash of white.

"Elizabeth…we've talked about this. You promised to stay away, what are you doing here, again?"

"Jeepers, you sure know how to make a girl feel welcome. I have a reason for being here you know. It's a good reason too, one I had to come see you about and it couldn't wait. I suppose I could have called but then you would have said no in that brisk manner of yours and then your forehead would have had a ton of frown lines and those 'I'm Jason Morgan and I'm mad as hell you aren't listening to me' lines…so here I am. Don't look at me like that, I told you, I have a great reason for being here and if you would just stop looking at me like that and stop interrupting, I'd be able to get to my point and tell you what was so important…When did you get back from Columbia? If you'd stop the slight cave man routine and let me into your home, we'd be able to get down to the heart of the matter and I wouldn't have to stand out here feeling like an interloper. Are you going to continue to stare at me like that or are we going to get to why I'm here?"

"Did you receive a knock to the head or something? I don't think you breathed through that whole thing and…you are rambling more than usual. I got back late last night…Also to point out; this is only the second time I've had the chance to speak since you arrived."

"I…no, my head is fine, why do you ask?"

"You look a little unwell…"

"I look…bad?" Elizabeth asked, her feelings stinging at such insensitive words coming from Jason.

"I didn't say that, you just don't seem yourself."

"Could be the half a dozen hot chocolates I drank, or it could be all the chocolate covered coffee beans I ate…, there were the Iced Cappuccino's and the Mango Hurricane smoothies…I needed something to calm me down and you know chocolate does that."

"Why did you need to be calmed down? Did something happen?"

"Oh…umm…well…you see, I have…a…I wanted to ask…well…maybe…perhaps I should…I need to leave…Umm…sorry to have bothered you…"

She had managed to turn her back to him but her first step away from his door and he had his hand on her arm and dragging her into the penthouse.

"Nope, not happening again, like you said, you had a reason to come here. You've had a reason to come the last fifteen times and yet, I still don't know what it is. You are going to spill it all or you will not be leaving."

"No, really, it's…nothing. I shouldn't be bothering you. Like you said, it isn't safe. I should go, really…"

"Elizabeth Imogene Webber, sit your ass down and don't move until you tell me what the hell is going on. Do you understand me?"

"Umm…Yes Sir?!"

Elizabeth saw the gleam in his eyes but couldn't fathom what it meant.

"Good, now, let's start from the beginning."

"Pushy damn men who think their word is law…"Elizabeth whispered.

"That wasn't whispered quiet enough darlin', you'll have to try better next time. Now spill!"

"Yes…Sir…" Elizabeth said and then said nothing else.

XxXxX


	2. Chapter 2

Warning for language. Thank you for the reviews/faves/follows.

**Chapter Two**

He didn't think he could become any more…frustrated. His mind quickly supplied him with a more frustrating scenario, Carly, Courtney and a suddenly tight lipped Elizabeth, all in the same room.

His shudder was real enough, but if Elizabeth saw it, she said nothing, still.

"You came here to talk, so talk. You look like you are ready to vibrate out of your skin. You know you won't be able to stay quiet much longer. You're a talker…you'll talk."

When silence still greeted him, he jumped from his seat and began to pace. As he passed the fireplace mantel he took notice of a something he had never seen before.

He continued to walk by it on every circuit but finally had to stop and look a little more closely at the damn thing.

Unsure how long he had been staring at the God-awful thing, he did finally take notice that Elizabeth was now standing by his side.

"Why do you have a fertility Idol in your apartment? Oh God…are you and Courtney trying to have kids?"

He could hear the horror in her voice and if he was honest, he felt another shudder wrack his body at the mere thought. Babies with the she-…her, was not in his five year plan.

"Hell No! I'd be scared if she owned something as simple as a Chia Pet…did you say fertility idol? Like, fertility idol, fertility idol?" He asked, while miming a pregnant belly.

Her laughter was rich and genuine and filled him in ways he couldn't define.

"Yes, that's what it is."

"How do you know about fertility idols?

"I did go to art school. Learning about different types of idols was just part of one of the courses…"

"That's right; I don't know how I forgot."

"Because you've been so busy pushing me away and trying to forget…anyway…back to the idol, I don't know if…although…"

He watched as she moved closer and then picked said item up. Turning it this way and that, her brows scrunched up in deep thought. He watched as her eyebrows practically jumped off her forehead, when she read the bottom.

He would have grabbed it from her hands, if she hadn't been holding it so tightly.

"What? What is it?"

"I could be wrong, but when I was younger, I used to love watching adventure movies and in this one particular movie, there was a fertility idol just like this…Indiana Jones, that's where I saw this one…too bad it's a fake." Elizabeth all but whispered the last part.

"They used a real fertility idol in a movie?"

"Not to my knowledge, but…oh my God…your hump and dump must have bought this, thinking it was the real thing…Jason, your standards just keep getting lower and lower. At least with Carly, she had a few brain cells, emphasis on the had…unlike your fuck-me Ken/Barbie."

He was unable to deny the sheer joy she seemed to be emitting. As her laughter increased, his own smile broke free and a few chuckles too.

He watched as she bent in half, her hands resting on her knees as she fought for each breath. Her laughter was coming faster and faster and sounded like there were hiccups interspersed. When her face rose enough that he could catch a glimpse, he saw big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Ken/Barbie?" He asked, hoping to calm her some.

As she tried to catch her breath, he practically watched every move she made. From straightening her clothes to wiping her cheeks, although it was mostly for naught, she'd get a semblance of control and then break out in to peals of laughter again.

It took a good ten minutes for her laughter to finally taper off into giggles and another five before she was capable of speech.

"Well, she isn't built like any Barbie I've ever seen, she's got the muscle tone of Ken, but the bleach blonde hair, breasts and the nonexistent brains…"

"Be nice Elizabeth."

"I was and I would like to point out, you said you wouldn't trust her with a Chia pet."

"Touché…So, now that your lips are unzipped, plan on telling me why you are here?"

He didn't want to admit it, but he was enjoying spending time with her but that was never their problem, they were amazing friends, got along like they'd always been in one another's life, it was his life that always encroached and then caused huge problems.

Her instant deer in headlights look was comical but he was tired of fighting her for the real reason.

"Elizabeth, please. You know you can tell me anything, ask me anything, so spit it out already."

As she walked away from him, he had a brief moment of fear that she was running again, but she simply put some distance between them and began to mumble.

"Sister Mary…please help me get to the point…crap…you're probably the wrong sister to be praying to but when in a pinch, does one pray to a Sister? Who does one pray to in this kind of instance? Maybe I should be praying to the saints, but which saints? Not Saint Christopher or Saint Jude, right? Peter, Paul and Mary, would that work, really? Well…for the love of chocolate, please give me the strength and courage to ask what I came here to ask, pretty please."

"Sorry, didn't hear you, what was that?"

Jason noticed she was still holding the idol and practically ringing the inanimate objects neck, at least what there was of it.

"Fine, okay, I can do this, no problem, not a big deal. It isn't like this is the end of the world or my world at least, there are still other options and I can explore those and it would probably be easier, but the thing is, I wouldn't know the person, nor would I trust them, it would just feel so…unfeeling, clinical and then what would I tell…but that is neither here nor there because it all boils down to the fact that I want you to father my baby and if you think about it, it isn't that big of a favor, right? It is just a simple thing, you lend me your sperm, well, not lend, because I sure can't give them back when I'm done or have a return policy if it doesn't work the first time…although, could you imagine them trying to put that stuff back…awkward…So yeah…that's the favor, simple really, right? Baby, I want to have your baby...so yeah, um…that's all I've got."

"Excuse me?"

He'd tried to follow along to her rambling but by the time she was petering out, he was almost more confused. She'd stopped, finally, either from lack of oxygen or hitting her word limit, he wasn't sure which though.

If he heard right and he was not sure he did, he'd swear she just asked him to have a baby with her…

"…" His attempt to say something, anything really was hindered by his own deer in headlights look.

"I said what I came to say, I asked what I needed…I should go so you can mull over everything and get back to me, if you want to get back to me. Of course how could I know if it is yes or no if you don't get back to me, but I suppose not hearing from you would be a pretty definitive answer…I should…yeah, I'm going to go…umm, thanks for seeing me and listening to me, I'll see myself out."

She'd made it almost all the way to the door before the gears in his mind caught and began to spin again.

"STOP right where you are! You do not get to come in here and drop something like that and then just mosey on out of here. Sit down right now."

Barking orders at her was probably not his best course of action, but he believed he deserved a pass. She had just dropped a massive bombshell on him; he needed a few minutes to process it all.

It was his turn to be the silent one. He mulled over everything she'd said and didn't say.

Was she simply asking because of the baby she lost? Was this something she felt she really wanted and wanted him because…they were…are friends, but how would this even work? Would he donate the material and then just poof, be no longer needed?

Would they be co-parents? Would he be a part of the pregnancy? The more he thought, the more questions popped up, but the one thing that never came up, was whether he wanted to do this or not.

"Jason, you need to start talking or you need to let me leave. I really am going to vibrate right out of my clothes and skin if you don't get to it!"

The visual was almost instantaneous and packed one hell of a punch. He agrees with himself that would be one way to start the baby making…

The dangers though, were ever present, just because he was even thinking about this didn't mean that it was possible. Look at everything that had befallen her as his friend. He could just imagine what would become of her, as the mother of his child. She'd never get a moment's peace; she would constantly be under siege.

"Jason!"

"Sorry…I'm…processing, I guess you could say."

"Hence why I was going to go and let you…process alone."

His head felt like it had an entire stadium full of drummers drumming on their drums, doing their best to butcher Guns n' Roses Welcome to the Jungle. Wow even thinking that thought hurt his head.

"Have you really thought this through?"

"Sure, of course. I think you should donate the needed…material and I go in and have it implanted and then I go away for a 'vacation' and when I come back…bim, bam, boom…I'm pregnant and everyone thinks it is a one night stand. I get the baby I've always wanted and you get to go back to your tramps, whores and dimwitted blondes and let's not forget your guns and danger…"

"So you get something out of this and what is it exactly that I get?"

"Jason, you said it wasn't safe for us to be around one another. Would you want to be…a part of the baby's life? How would that work? Your boss and friend would probably have a lot to say on that and that is why, if you agree, you can't tell Carly, Sonny or Courtney."

"Elizabeth, you are asking a lot of me."

"I know…but…"

He wasn't a greedy man, but what she was asking of him was seriously unfair. A child of his own was something he had wanted since Carly and in essence, Sonny, ripped Michael from his arms.

"Where would you be going on this little 'vacation'?"

"I was thinking Canada…"

"Canada, want to be anymore vague?"

"I don't know…I've heard of some great places to visit and thought it would be nice."

"Such as?"

"Well…there's Niagara Fall's but then there is also this little place in Alberta…Waterton Lakes National Park."

"Do you know anything about this place?"

"No, but I've seen pictures and it looks positively sublime, there are mountain's, lush, green forests, waterfalls and wild animals."

"Elizabeth!"

"Don't let your thong rise any higher or get any tighter, you are risking your swimmers!"

"Not funny. If anyone is wearing a thong here, it would be you."

"Why would you say that?"

"Your dress hugs your…nicely, you can't be wearing regular panties with that thing."

"It is a skirt Jason, not a dress and what I'm wearing or not wearing beneath this outfit, is neither here nor there."

She had a point, he couldn't deny that, but keeping his mind on one thing at the moment, was proving harder than he thought it would be. Add in thinking about her naked previously and now thinking of her under garments…Obviously Courtney had been gone longer than he remembered.

"So…"

Taking a seat beside her, he took her trembling hand in his. "Why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous per se…more…filled with anticipation and wary of being rejected."

He could understand that. Perhaps that had been the cause of her caffeine binge earlier. Dropping her hand, he turned a little more towards her before asking, "Why is this so important now and why me?"

One moment her hands were resting demurely on her lap and the next her hands were gesturing all over the place.

"Ouch…Shit…Elizabeth!"

"Oh My God! I am so sorry…Jason…oh shit…your bleeding."

"Ob corbe I'm beeding, I fink you boke my nobe"

"Could you repeat that…a little more clearly?"

"No I can't…"

"Did you say, of course I'm bleeding, I'm the fink who broke your nose?"

"No…I fink I neeb to go hospidal…"

"I can't understand you…I think we need to take you to the hospital."

"Dads whad I said."

"Maybe we should stop at St. Vincent's church and have you checked over for possession while we are at it."

"Nob puddy!"

"I think I understood that…Not Funny?"

Why was this happening to him? He wasn't a bad guy…and damn it if his nose didn't' hurt like a son of a bitch. If he were honest, it felt like he was hit with a sledgehammer not a little itty bitty fist. He nodded his head once and then gestured to the door.

He had no sooner stood than Elizabeth was dashing out of the room and came back moments later, with a dishtowel filled with ice. For that, he was grateful, it helped some.

"You know Jason, this was an accident…I am so sorry. Please forgive me.'

"Hospidal…"

"Right, of course, I'll drive."

Sadly, right now, he wasn't going to trust her driving skills, so he simply said nothing but when they reached the ground floor, he was grabbing one of the lobby drivers to drive them both to the hospital. He had no desire to dance with death this night.

Perhaps this was a good thing, he thought begrudgingly, it would give him some time to think, to ruminate over the situation and request.

Although, if he were honest, some good pain meds might be nice, they'd cloud his mind enough so that he wouldn't have to think about all the guards laughing at him being taken down by a girl a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet.

His thoughts were interrupted.

"Jason, have you given any more thought to my…question?"

His glare seemed to speak volumes, because she simply sat back down and stayed quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the long wait, but a sick dad trumps writing. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter Three

It was all too much. She'd been a nervous wreck for more than a month. This favor had been hanging over her head and heart.

Now, sitting in the Emergency Room waiting room, Jason's words from earlier came back. 'Are you sure this isn't about the baby you lost?'

How could she make him see that it wasn't? Yes, she missed her baby with every fiber of her being but her decision to try again, wasn't misplaced. She wasn't trying to replace anyone.

She wouldn't saddle a child with that burden, hell she wouldn't saddle anyone with that burden.

Her heart had been devastated when she lost her child. For a time, she wasn't sure if she'd ever find a way to be whole again, but day after day, the pain lessened. It never went away, and in all honesty, she didn't want it to. She would remember the child she lost and the violence that caused it but ever since discovering she was pregnant, she knew she was meant to be a mother.

With her track record of bad romances, she wanted to put her love into something…she didn't want to say more worthy or safer, just…she wanted to share the love she had brimming over.

Jason loved kids and that had been one of the reasons she thought of him. He loved Michael even though he wasn't of his blood. Could he give the genetic material needed for this baby and stay out of the child's life? Would it be fair of her to ask such a thing?

Say they shared custody, how would that work? Would the business, his friends, suddenly understand that not all of his time was theirs?

When this plan/favor had begun to formulate in her head, she'd forgotten to look at the bigger picture. Her own wants and desire's overshadowing her innate goodness and focused more fully on her often hidden, selfish side.

She would have given her thoughts more head time, but she saw Jason coming over to her.

"Well, the good news is, it isn't broken. The bad news, a few blood vessels popped, which caused the overabundance of blood and which will probably cause some serious bruising. Your nose will be tender for a good long while. You do have a good possibility of having two black eyes as well."

Being able to talk normally once again, Jason said, "Great, I'm going to look like I went ten rounds with Muhammad Ali but because I had to have a guard drive us, everyone will know that a girl almost half my weight did it…"

"Look on the bright side son, you could be shot again."

"I'm not your son, your son died in that accident; I'm what's left over."

He saw Alan gearing up to argue, but simply didn't have the patience to hear how the 'great' Jason Quartermaine would be ashamed of his behavior.

When he got back to the waiting room both Elizabeth and the guard were still there. "I thought I told you to take her home and drop my vehicle off?"

"Yes sir, you did but Miss Webber refused to leave. I didn't think bodily harm would go over so well with you, so I simply stayed with her."

"Fine, call another guard to come and get you, I'll take Elizabeth home myself."

"Think it is wise to be alone with her, sir?"

"No one likes a smart ass Derek."

"No they don't and remember this Derek, I'll be a nurse soon, and you could be in need of my services, where will you be, if I'm suddenly unable to help you?"

It hurt, but Jason smiled. She was feisty, that was for sure. If he were honest though, he was a little…concerned about his welfare. Maybe if he fed her, she'd settle down some. He was sure she was still jumpy, maybe not as much, but if one looked closely enough, you could see the rattle of her body.

"Come on Elizabeth, time to go home."

"You know…right? I didn't mean to do this, it was an accident. I can just see Carly and Sonny's face when they get a look at you. Maybe you should assign me a guard; one or both will probably try to take a hit out on me…"

"We will stop at Kelly's to grab some food and continue our previous conversation. I think it would be wise to hash it all out now, not later."

He chose not to reply on the snarky comment about Sonny and Carly; otherwise, they would never get out of here.

He saw the fear flickering in her eyes and for just a moment, wanted to take her in his arms and make everything alright. The sad fact was though; he didn't see how anything could be alright again.

"Yes Jason…"

Her subdued tone and downtrodden look broke his heart.

The short trip held only silence, neither giving voice to the elephant currently in the car.

The diner was oddly busy and took much longer than either had thought it would, just to get their meals. Deciding it would be easier and better to have this conversation in private, they took their meals to go.

"You know, I was almost your roommate." Elizabeth said as they reached the SUV.

"How so?"

"Not like that. I slipped and fell out in emergency and Bobby almost forced me into a room. It was nothing more than a scratch, so I slapped a Band-Aid on it and told her I'd be fine."

Why did her off-the-wall comment stir so many ideas?

They were silent the rest of the way, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts.

As they pulled up and were about to get out, Elizabeth broke the silence.

"Jason, if you aren't going to do this…could you just tell me now. I know it's stupid, but I've pinned a lot of hopes and dreams on this favor and…but…I really have thought long and hard on this and please don't ever think this is because of the-"

"Let's get inside, per your…request, you don't want anyone to know anything, so, let's go upstairs and talk more about this."

He listened to her huff of breath, but didn't feel like she was angry, resigned possibly but not angry.

"Yeah…yeah…sure."

She led the way, her feet feeling heavier than they actually were, but suddenly, she wanted to do anything and everything to stall this conversation. She wasn't normally a negative person, but she felt it, deep in her heart. He was going to say no.

"What would you like to drink? I don't have any beer but I do have some fruit juice and water."

"Water's good, thanks."

After grabbing the drinks, she took a seat on the hard couch beside him. "So…"

"Why do you want this so badly? Why does it have to be right now and why did you pick me?"

"I want this so badly, because…there are a hundred a one reasons, but the most important reason; I want to be a mother. I could wait and hope to find the right man, but my choices in love…they leave a lot to be desired. While I understand a two parent home is best, it isn't the only way. I'll be a good mother, I can give so much to a child and I don't want to wait. I'm young but not too young. As for why you were my first and only choice, it's rather convoluted."

"What do you mean?"

"Jason, you've been my friend for a long time and even when I didn't trust you, I trusted you. Yeah, I know, that doesn't make a lot of sense but it is the truth. Listen…I know I am asking a lot of you. I'll be honest and say I didn't think much of how this could affect you, which I am truly sorry about. I never intended to be so selfish. I've known how much you desire to be a parent, look how wonderful you were with Michael. Maybe…in doing this, you'll get your fondest wish…"

"Yeah, and what, never see them, hold them, love them. What you are asking of me-" Jason said but paused, seemingly trying to catch his thoughts. "It would be my fondest wish, but the restrictions you've placed on this favor, don't sit well with me."

"The…restrictions? You mean, not telling anyone?"

"Yes, the not telling anyone, I-"

She watched as he almost vaulted to his feet. His steps were slow to begin with, but grew more and more frenzied as he went.

"I can't believe I am even contemplating this. If and that if is laced with so many things…if I agree to this, you are going to have to agree to some of my…favors."

Her heart almost fled her chest when he said he was contemplating it but began to sink when she heard he had some favors to ask. In her opinion it sounded more like demands than favors.

"Okay…"

"If…if I decide to do this, I can't just walk away and pretend that child isn't mine. I'm sorry Elizabeth but if you wanted a hands off father, that isn't me-"

She cut him off, needing to say something.

"But Jason-" Elizabeth said, but this time Jason cut her off.

"Nope, your turn to listen, you owe me that. I want to be a part of the pregnancy, with my job and the dangers it entails, that would be difficult but it can be done-"

"If it can be done, then why weren't you doing it, to maintain our friendship? Am I so disposable?" Elizabeth asked, once again interrupting him.

"Don't do that. A lot of things would have to be done, in order to make this scenario as safe as possible, if you will let me continue." Jason said.

Her heartbeat was erratic but she was just able to keep her lips closed. She'd listen and then she'd reply.

She waved her hand, indicating that he should continue.

"First, you'd need to stash your pride, because you'll need to be moved into a secure location. If you let me chose and purchase a house and have all the security measures taken care of, then I'd be able to visit you safely and help out when and where it is needed. I don't just want to be there for my child after birth, but during the whole process as well. You'd be the mother of my child, which means you are even more important to me. I want to help out when I can, with morning sickness and cravings and mood swings…I want birthdays and special occasions to be just the three of us, the day before or after will be for the other people in your life. I want to be able to tuck my child in and feed him or her; I want to be a part of my child's life."

She'd never heard him say so much at one time, ever. She was a little shell shocked.

"Jason, what about your friends, how are you going to get around them? They have you on a practically nonexistent leash…"

"Nonexistent?"

"Yeah, it's there, but it is so short and can't be seen. They say jump and you ask, how high?"

"That isn't fair Elizabeth. They are my friends, my family…they've been there for me when everyone else has turned their backs on me or demanded something from me."

"In a way, that is true but Jason, you've turned your back on so many people, citing danger or using the excuse that they want you to be someone you no longer are. Don't paint everyone into the same category just because they care. I understand why you have such a hard time with your family, but they do remember you, they remember the good and the bad, they remember the love. If 'our' child does or says something you don't like, are you going to turn your back on him or her?"

"Don't put words into my mouth or change situations to make me the bad guy."

"I'm not, just asking a simple question. You have a lot to think about, as do I. So I am going to leave you with this question and then we can pick this up again tomorrow or whenever you are ready. If something horrible happened to our child and he didn't remember you or me, would you be okay with him or her just walking out of our lives, saying he doesn't know us, and then not bothering to try? I want this baby Jason, and I am willing to submit to your demands, because they do seem fair…but you have to look at the big picture. Also, how…if you say yes, will we conceive this child? The old fashioned way or will you be okay with going to a clinic donating the sperm…"

The blank look on his face and the odd sparkle to his eyes confused her more than anything. What she wouldn't give for the momentary ability to read minds.

Well…she just kept doing it. Little innocent things and his mind was rife with ideas. Ideas a good friend shouldn't be having about said friend.

"I'll call you tomorrow. You are right; there is a lot to think about." More than she understood. His mind was going places he hadn't really thought of in a long time and if he wasn't in pain and having a serious case of 'Duh's' his body would probably going to those same places.

He had just made it to his feet when her shriek filled the air of her small apartment.

"Spider, bloody hell, it's a damn SPIDER! It's the size of a Buick!"

Jason looked all around but didn't see the damn thing. "What are you talking about?"

"Over there…by the window…kill it Jason! Don't just stand there. I get it, this is overly girly but I hate spiders…creepy, long legged, hairy beasts…I read somewhere; a person will swallow at least twenty of those horrendous monsters in their sleep, throughout their life time. Be the man Jason! Be the Man! Kill it!"

Unsure where she got her facts from, but grossed out nonetheless, Jason put on his arachnid killing hat, metaphorically speaking and went in search of her spider.

The damn thing wasn't the size of a Buick, but it was a lot larger than he expected it to be.

"Elizabeth, come help me, the damn thing is fast."

When he hadn't heard anything, he searched her out and discovered her standing on her cabinet by the door, a shoe in one hand and a newspaper in the other.

"Nope, sorry, not happening…You are the man in this relationship. Do your manly duties. I won't be able to sleep knowing that…thing is slinking around here like he owns the place."

"It could be a her…"

"I don't care if it's a he/she or a she/he or any other variation. It could be a hermaphrodite for all I care! It just needs to be a dead one, whatever it is."

Realizing having a rational conversation was out of the question, he continued on his hunt.

An hour later and still unsuccessful, Jason decided something else was in order.

"Let's pack you a bag and you can come stay at my place. Wouldn't want you to be eaten by or to eat that spider…"

"You're funny Jason…"

A moment later and she was stuffing things into a small bag and then suddenly out the door.

He wondered briefly if she had arachnophobia. Tired, his nose throbbing, he decided it didn't really matter.

This wasn't how he figured the night would end but, it could be worse he supposed. A not quite broken nose, a proposition to have a child, a roommate for the night…Suddenly, his life didn't seem quite as boring, his friend was capable of many things and stirring his life up, seemed to be one of them.

He shut and locked the door behind him and noticed Elizabeth was nowhere to be seen.

Walking the rest of the way to his car, he saw her small form huddling by his SUV. With any luck, there would be no Carly, Sonny or Courtney sightings and no sightings of any arachnids. With the way his luck was going though, all of the above would happen the moment they stepped foot in his penthouse.

He had just reached the car when the rain that had been predicted for the last week, finally came. Freezing rain fell in blankets sheets. Shoving up his collar, he dashed more quickly to the vehicle and got both him and Elizabeth out of the weather.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…sorry about that, I have no problems with them outside, you know, where they belong, but them being in my home…I guess I kinda lost my head. Rethinking my favor?"

"No, are you rethinking my requests?"

"Not at all."

He watched as one big fat tear fell down her left cheek. Shimmering silver like in the moonlight, once it reached her chin, it trembled and fell, disappearing completely.

"Elizabeth, are you alright?"

"Yeah, sorry…I was so sure you were going to say no and now that it's been bumped to maybe…I guess I'm just relieved."

The further away from her apartment they made it, the more Jason began to like their current situation. After pulling into Harborview Tower's parking garage, he turned to speak to Elizabeth and found her fast asleep.

How she was able to sleep with that much caffeine coursing through her veins, he couldn't be sure but her soft little snores were easy to hear now that the SUV was turned off.

He carefully extracted her from the passenger side. No sooner was she in his arms than she curled herself around him, breathing a contented sigh. Her lips, feather light on his neck, caused him to falter slightly and even more so when another sigh, almost moan slipped from her slightly parted lips.

Oh yeah…a cold shower was definitely in his future…if he could find the will to put her down.

As he entered the elevator, he heard Elizabeth whisper, "Oh Jason…Yes…Don't…ohhhh…Mmmhmm…"


	4. Chapter 4

Warning for language and some adult content. Thanks for the reviews/fave and follows. Hope you enjoy. beta'd by the fabulous James.

Chapter Four

"Elizabeth for my sanity and the sake of my…gentlemanly side, you need to wake up…NOW!" Jason all but shouted.

The entire ride up the elevator and short walk into his penthouse, Elizabeth had been making sexy little noises and all but molesting him through his clothes. If she kept this up she'd get her baby alright.

He'd admit there was a time, not too distant at that, that he thought he'd find what he was looking for, with her, but time and circumstances…and other people continued to get in the way of that. Sometimes they themselves were the cause of nothing moving forward but having her here and doing…the things she was doing and asking what she asked…that fleeting dream didn't seem so fleeting anymore, it seemed…possible, plausible even. Maybe…

"Hmm…Jason…what is it?"

"You…fell asleep and I thought you'd like to…change before bed. I mean before you go to bed, in your bed…I mean my bed…I mean my guest bed…you know, in the guest bedroom…Umm…"

He caught the odd look being directed at him in between scrubs of her left fist over her eyes, but wasn't sure how to stop his mouth. "I…I need a shower, I'll…see you in the morning and we can further discuss this topic, I mean the big topic…rather the baby topic and come to some conclusions…Good Night!" He practically screamed as he ran up the stairs.

"Good Night."

He heard her tentative if not slightly amused reply, but he was wound too tightly. Her request and then his requests…he had thought she'd deny his wants, but it was the exact opposite, she agreed so readily, he now wondered about the veracity of her agreement.

Before he could make a bigger fool of himself, he increased his pace and ran, like the coward he was, to the safety of his room.

In all their friendship, she'd never seen him so flustered. She'd also never seen a man run with a raging hard-on before. She wondered briefly about the cause but then shrugged her shoulders. His erection was his problem…although…it would help with her little…err…big favor.

When she heard the slam of a door above, she finally budged from her spot on the couch, where Jason had obviously set her.

Trying to banish the more racy thoughts from her mind, Elizabeth grabbed her bag by the foot of the stairs and trudged to her room.

She wasn't sleepy but she was mentally exhausted. It had been a long day and her caffeine rush was waning.

Deciding to take Jason up on his offer of a shower, maybe she could wash away some of her fogginess and get her bearings. She grabbed the necessary items and made her way to the shower.

'That's odd…a place this new and…swanky, you'd think there would be glass shower doors, not a simply light blue curtain.' She thought to herself.

Shampoo and conditioner sat in opposite corners and a manly body wash was next to the edge of the tub by the faucet, something called Axe, she'd seen it advertised but had never had cause to discover its scent. It wasn't her regular stuff but she had been in such a hurry to get out that she never even thought of essentials like that. Pajamas and her toothbrush were as far as she had managed to think.

After folding her clothes on the vanity, Elizabeth adjusted the water temperature and started the shower. When she was sure it was what she wanted, she climbed in.

She had just stepped under the spray when a knock sounded on the door.

"I'm in the shower; I'll talk to you in a few."

When only silence greeted her, she grabbed the bottle of shampoo, only to drop it as Jason's voice sounded in the small room. Her girly shriek almost rivaled her spider shriek from earlier. In her shock, she managed to drop the bottle of shampoo and had to bend over to get it, but the slippery bitch refused to be caught.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but…I got to thinking and I know we kind of discussed the how of it all but…"

"Jason…I'm in the shower…naked!"

"I can't see anything, there's a shower curtain in the way." He said with a laugh.

To her, his laugh sounded off, forced almost. Knowing he was there to stay, at least until she gave an answer, she replied, "I thought we could go to the clinic tomorrow…according to a test I took, I start ovulating tomorrow, so that means, we could conceive pretty quickly, if it takes."

When silence reigned again, Elizabeth bravely took a peek out and almost swallowed her tongue.

Jason stood by the vanity, his hips barely wrapped with a towel. Water droplets coursing down his lithe frame and disappearing into the terry cloth towel, no man should be allowed to look that good and…edible, ever!

"Jason? Did you get out of the shower, just to ask me this?"

"Like I said, I was thinking and…"

"…And you thought you'd talk to me while I showered?"

"Well…I didn't know you'd be in the shower. It just seems too important to leave things unsaid."

Now, while she's showering, he gets chatty…she didn't think she'd ever understand this man fully.

He wasn't sure exactly what he was doing. He'd been in the shower, contemplating taking care of his extremely hard erection, when the big question hit him and he simply jumped out of the shower, grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around his hips.

It wasn't until he reached the hall that he heard the water running in the main bathroom, but he was a man on a mission and bravely knocked before he lost his nerve.

He heard her response, but he was too determined to give up, so he simply opened the door and stepped in. Slightly shocked the door hadn't been locked and oddly happy about that fact.

If he had been thinking, this was the last place he should have been.

He hadn't lied; the shower curtain did hide her from view but not enough that he couldn't see her lush curves. Almost the first thing he noticed was her pert nipples. Her ass was a thing of beauty, as she struggled to pick up the shampoo bottle, her tight little ass moving to and fro and just invited impure thoughts.

His laugh felt stiff but nowhere near as stiff as his previously, slightly calmed dick. One look at her, like that and it was standing up and shouting to the world, trying to get someone's attention. If it could talk, it could have made her blush ten ways from Sunday.

"Yes, I just had to ask. It seems like we've said so much but so little in all of this and I just…needed some answers."

This time, silence greeted him.

"A clinic? How would that work? You get tested or something and I…in a cup…then they insert and budda boom…"

"I don't think that is how it really happens…although it could be that simple I suppose. I honestly don't know. I didn't look up the particulars."

"Is it guaranteed to work, like the first time?"

"There are no guarantees with this procedure. It's costly and might never work."

"Why would you go through all of this, when the old fashioned way seems to have better results?"

"Could you have seen your face, if I had said, I want a baby, let's jump into bed and get it on to get on it?"

Knowing she could possibly be watching him, like he was her, he kept his face blank and his eyes diverted.

"I don't…" So she was probably right, but it wouldn't have been hard to convince him, of that, he was now very sure.

"Jason, we danced around a possible relationship for how long? The only time anything happened between us, was when I initiated it. The kiss at the overlook, the kiss and almost sex in my studio…Gah! For a man who was supposedly trying with me, you left everything up to me. Why?"

"Quite a while, but you were young and I…well…I'm older and I didn't want to rush you or push you and I didn't want to see you do something you didn't really want to do…I didn't want to pressure you. You've been through so much and…it didn't seem right. If you initiated things, then I knew you really wanted it, so…"

"I call bullshit! I've seen you dress in a business suit, even though it was the last thing you wanted to be in, I've seen you dress up in a tux, because Sonny and Carly were getting remarried…I've seen you try with other people. Courtney, you went out of your way. You probably initiated things with her all the time. If I didn't want something to happen with you, I would have told you. Jason, you've done things you don't want to do all the time, but you never tell someone not to do something and sooner or later, I'll get to my point, I'm sure I had a point with the tux and suit and whatnot, I just…don't know what it is at the moment…it's just…you are the most infuriating man I know. You say everyone can make up their own minds, but damn it, when it comes to me, you put on the kiddy gloves and treat me like fragile china, like my rape is everything about me, when it isn't. It happened, I am trying to move on, it isn't like I can forget, but I can move on, but the people in my life, they can't treat me like a child or like I don't know my own mind. You've put me on a pedestal and labelled me fragile, to look at but to never touch, I never wanted to be placed on a pedestal Jason; I just wanted you to love me, to want to be with me." Elizabeth exclaimed and then yanked the shower curtain open.

He was so screwed! He'd heard her whole convoluted speech but seeing her like this…scrambled what little brain cells he had cruising around his mind at that moment. If he had his wits about him, he would have wondered how she managed to say that whole thing in one breath.

"…"

He knew she was waiting for him to say something, but if she didn't grab a towel or clothes or something real soon, screw the clinic, he'd have her in his bed and they could get on this baby making the old fashioned way.

"Jason! Are you even listening to me?"

"I apologize in advance, this is going to be a total guy response, but…if you want any of my attention at the moment…you'll need to cover up…your breasts are magnificent…I can't tear my eyes away from them…just think, in less than a year and you'll be breast feeding our child. You will give our child breast milk, right?"

"Does…wait! So, this is no longer just talk? You want to do this; we are going to do this? Can we make the appointment now? You have hospital connections, use them, and get us in first thing in the morning." Elizabeth demanded.

Before he could say anything, his arms were suddenly full of a very exuberant Elizabeth, a naked exuberant Elizabeth. She was hugging him so tightly, with both arms and legs, that when he felt the towel shift and begin to fall, he knew there was no way he was going to be able to catch it. His arms were full. Perhaps there was a small part of his mind that was screaming 'Let the towel fall', or it could have been his dick…at this point, he really didn't know.

His desire had been waning while they discussed 'their' baby, but as her body connected with his…it was back with a vengeance, he'd need another shower for sure.

"Oomph…"

"OH…"

They said together, as wet skin met slightly dry.

"You're naked! Elizabeth shrieked.

"I had a towel…it fell…"

"You're Naked!"

"So are you!" It was said almost accusingly but he was almost positive he wasn't angry about it, just…caught off guard.

Her shocked look and the comical O of her mouth were almost too much to bear. If he was to deduce anything from her look, he'd say she didn't realize she was naked until that moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Warning for language and adult situations...Huge thanks to my beta.

Chapter Five

How did she get herself in a situation like this? Well, she knew how, but if asked this morning if she'd be staring at a very naked Jason Morgan and talking seriously about conceiving a child together, she would have thought the person off their rocker, but…here they were, doing just that.

"You…You…" She said, stumbling over her words.

"Me…Me…what?" Jason asked.

Shaking her head, trying to clear it and finding it almost impossible in her current situation, she tried again. "You…you said yes. We're going to have a baby?"

"Move a quarter of an inch to the left and you'll find out!" He replied, his voice husky.

"Jason! Don't tease. Oh my goodness, this is really going to happen! I'm going to be a mommy! You're going to be a daddy! This is so…awesome, fabulous, fantastic, wonderful, amazing, stupendous, serendipitous…okay; well that doesn't really work but…oh my goodness! Wait…what are your conditions again?" At the moment, he could say numerous things and she'd be liable to agree to anything.

In all her life, she couldn't ever remember being this happy or feeling this…free.

For most of her teenaged life and adult life, her past and all that had happened, weighed on her shoulders, but in that moment, it was like it all just disappeared.

Finally taking notice of the look she was being given, Elizabeth allowed her legs to drop to the floor, but not before encountering his erection. He hadn't been kidding when he said move a quarter inch…

"Perhaps we should both get dressed and take this conversation down stairs…" Jason said.

"Of course, if you'll just…loosen your hold, I can…"

"Just…Shhh for a minute, okay?"

She couldn't figure out what was wrong, but obviously not everything was copasetic.

"Are you okay, did…I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm not hurt, per se…rocking an impressive set of blue balls, yes, practically drenched in precum…again, yes and to say I'm hard, well it is the understatement of the century. I think if I encountered an iceberg, it would sink before my dick would...I'd be more likely to impale it than anything else though."

Her face went from her normal shade, to fire engine red in seconds. She'd been married twice…to the same man and almost married Lucky twice, but everyone in her life, treated her like she was always an innocent little girl, the rape victim who could never really leave her rape behind, because everyone was constantly treating her like said rape victim. Such words never passed their lips.

For never hearing 'dirty talk' before, she couldn't have known what it was like to experience it firsthand and spoken so boldly…but hearing it come from Jason's mouth and while they were both unclothed…it sparked a raging storm of desire through her body.

Her thighs practically quivered, her center clenched in want and desire, her stomach filled with butterflies and the thought of not being impaled, physically caused an ache and her nipples, she imagined they were harder than they had ever been.

"Perhaps we should both finish our showers and then try to talk?"

"Yes…that might be a good idea." Jason said but still didn't move.

Knowing she was going to have to make the first move, she moved back into the still running shower, grateful for the obviously enormous water heater.

Hearing the scrape of the door, Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. She had been two seconds away from inviting him to share her shower.

With Jason gone, but the memories from their time naked remaining, Elizabeth let her fingers slide lower, gently parting her lower lips. She may not be as sexually experienced as most her age, but she was craving an orgasm and figured Jason would be doing the same, so no harm, no foul…

Grabbing the handheld showerhead, she adjusted the setting to a gentle but consistent pulsing spray, and then adjusted the temperature to where she got both hot and cold spurts together.

Inexperienced yes, knowing what she liked, definitely, she'd had to take matters into her own hands on occasion, and as she recalled, a lot of those times had been because of Jason too.

With everything set to her liking, she lowered the showerhead to where she needed it most and almost instantly felt a small quake of an orgasm rock her, but it wasn't enough, she needed more…much, much more. Her breathless moan slipped from her lips effortlessly and only encouraged her to seek a better and bigger finish.

Jason had been planning on moving, but his legs just weren't steady enough to hold him, his first and only attempt, resulted in him stumbling slightly against the ajar door, which closed it fully with a gentle scraping sound.

He was about to alert Elizabeth to the fact that he was still there, when he saw the shadow of her hand starting to slip lower and lower. He almost swallowed his tongue when she grabbed the showerhead and adjusted it and then the temperature before angling it to just where she wanted it.

'Oh fuck!' He thought to himself, as his own hand began to descend.

Her breathy little moan sent a fire of desire coursing through his veins and before he could make a decision, his hand was on his cock and stroking in time to Elizabeth's sexy, panting murmurs.

His knees almost buckled when he saw the shadow of her fingers slipping into her center.

He was .there! He was so close to coming but wanting to wait, wanting to hold off until she was finished too. If he had his wits about him, he'd probably see that this was on the creepy side but his hormones were too far gone. He didn't know how long he'd been a walking hard-on, but it felt like years, he needed this so badly…actually, what he needed was in the shower but this would have to do for now.

As the speed of her fingers increased and her murmurs became louder and stretched into fuller and more pleasurable moans, he realized, if she didn't come soon, he was going to shoot his load and be right back into the same problem.

She may not realize it, but she was, is, sexy as hell and-. His thoughts careened away and lost focus as he watched Elizabeth's legs begin to quake and her head fall back.

"Oh God…Oh Jason…Mmm…more, I need…oh…Yes…YES!"

'What the fuck?' His mind asked, 'Does she know I'm here?'

"That's it…oh God…I'm so close…Make me cum…"

As his hand increased in speed, he watched slack jawed as Elizabeth exploded into one of the most powerful orgasms he had ever witnessed. Her scream of ecstasy and 'YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!' catapulted him into his own orgasm.

His knees shook with great force and before he could stop himself, he shouted out his own pleasurable 'Fuuuuucccccckkkkk!' So caught up in the moment, he wasn't quick enough to catch himself when his knees refused to support him and he crashed to the floor with a loud 'thump'.

He'd no sooner landed than he heard Elizabeth shriek and then watched helplessly as she slipped and didn't have the speed with which to right herself and she crashed through the shower curtain, landing in a heap on the floor a mere foot away.

"Jason?!"

"Umm…I can…umm…explain?" He said, but it sounded like a question even to his own ears.

"Did you…did…could…you heard me, didn't you?"

"Never mind that, are you…you didn't hurt yourself did you?"

"Just my ego and my butt…I didn't think it was possible to bruise your butt, but I have someone managed and it's your fault!"

He knew it was but if for just once, they would stop this stupid dance, they'd have been in his bed and he would have been giving her the orgasms of a lifetime, not the stupid showerhead.

Irrational, he knew, but he was both angry and envious of that damn showerhead.

It was on the tip of his tongue but he just managed to rein that shit in.

"I thought you left, why didn't you leave?"

"I tried but my damn legs didn't want to support me and I know I should have mentioned that I was here but, fuck was that sexy!"

He saw the blush rise on top of her already beautifully flushed face but there was something else in her eyes as well, something he couldn't name, but found, he really wanted to.

"Seems like you took care of your own problem."

He realized she wasn't asking, especially since her eyes were currently locked in on his cock, but felt it prudent to answer anyway.

"I think I might have imploded if I hadn't taken matters into my own hands."

Feeling partly plucky and partly naughty, Elizabeth said, "What a waste of your little swimmers…"

"Elizabeth…You're bleeding!"

"Oh…well, look at that."

She could look and deal with other peoples blood, but the sight of her own made her nauseous and very lightheaded.

She watched as Jason moved closer, picking up her wrist to examine the wound.

"We have to go back to the hospital, don't we?" She asked puckishly.

"You're bleeding profusely and you find now is the time to be cheeky?"

"Any time is a good time to be cheeky Jason. Can you bandage this up so we can get dressed and go back to the hospital? While we're there, we can get some blood work done; you can make that happen, right?"

"You weren't kidding when you said this baby is always on your mind, were you?"

She supposed she could be offended by that comment, but in her current mood and predicament, she found she was more calm, than anything. "Yes, I told you Jason, it is what I really want. I know my heart and my mind, I am ready for this."

"We, we are ready for this."

She watched as Jason gained his feet and then fled the room. Figuring he was trying to find a first aid kit, she grabbed the towel to staunch the flow of blood until he returned.

When he returned, she took notice of him being fully clothed. Sadly, she knew it had to happen sooner or later, but the artist in her…desperately wanted to sketch and paint his physique. No man should look that good naked but he did.

"I have no idea where my first aid kit is, but I found some gauze under my sink. This should do until we can get you stitched up."

"Thanks and sorry about my clumsiness."

"I think I might have taken a drinking glass with me as I fell, so this too would be my fault."

She could hear the reproach in his voice, and knew he was kicking his own ass for this, but, if she were honest, they'd both been the cause of this accident.

"No big." Seeing his scepticism, she continued, "Seriously Jason, it was an accident and look at it this way, I put you in the ER today, so it is only fair, you do the same." She said with a laugh.

"You didn't mean to do it, this…this was…I'm so sorry Elizabeth."

"Hey, none of that. This was an accident too. Obviously we've both been hitting a dry spell and our hormones ran away with us. It isn't a big deal Jason; I'm not going to die. I have a favor to hold you too."

"Yes, you do and if we get our butts in gear, we can find out what we need to know and get started. We can discuss all the particulars later."

Again she saw a strange gleam in his eyes, but was distracted by the fact that his remorse and recriminations seemed to have taken a back seat or fled entirely. She'd wonder about the gleam another time.

"Watch, my grandmother will likely be there…or your father again…"

"My luck, it will be Alan or Monica."

"Be happy, it could be Edward or Tracy Quartermaine."

"Why'd you clarify the last name?"

"You meet a lot of…people in your line of work, figured it was best to clarify."

"What you are really saying, is I meet a lot of women."

"Well…you do."

"Nah, not really, but if you want to talk about bad luck, could you imagine Jeff or Steve 'Webber', being at the hospital when we get there."

"So why did you clarify?"

"I figured I could be puckish too." Jason said, and then stuck his tongue out at her.

Her laughter was loud and came fully from her belly. She'd never seen him do something so…childish. "You know, you should do that more often."

"Do what?"

"Let your inner kid out, you'll need to find him when you have kids."

"Which we won't ever experience if we don't get you to the hospital, now, enough talking, let's get you fixed up."

Before she could even think of moving, Jason had her in his arms and moving out of the bathroom.

"Umm…Jason…do you think I should put some clothes on before you go all caveman on me?"

It was his turn to blush and it looked fabulous on him…

"Perhaps you are right."

"Ya think!" Elizabeth exclaimed and then stuck her tongue out at him. "My inner child is wild and free, look out Port Charles."

"What you really mean is, look out Jason…"

Figuring it would work here too, she gave him the tongue again and watched as that gleam re-entered his gaze…yup, she'd have to crack his nut…err…this nut, someday soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Hope you all enjoy. Warning for language.

Chapter Six

"You know that was funny."

"Mortifying maybe, not funny though, I assure you." Jason replied, but was unable to keep a straight face.

"Hey, you were the one who told the WHOLE truth to the doc who stitched me up!"

"I didn't know what else to say…I…froze and it just all blurted out…"

"Uhh huh, sure…Do I get a prize for naming who was going to be here?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sure, you can go home with both Edward and Tracy."

"Listen here mister, they are standing right over there, I can walk over and mention how I will be carrying the next Quartermaine heir if you don't change your tune. Besides, you are going to have to talk to one of them, especially if we want to get a jump on the blood work and such…"

"Elizabeth, you just had stitches put in, can you worry about a baby in say, ten minutes?"

"I could, but why wait? You've already wasted more than enough little swimmers this evening; let's get a jump on this before it happens again."

Mumbling to himself, he said, "I could have just jumped you…"

"Jason, you do know I have good hearing, right?"

"Oh look, here comes Edward…again."

"Coward!" Elizabeth hissed under her breath, but turned to face the patriarch.

"Edward, what could you possibly want?"

"Nothing my boy just happened to see you here, with the lovely Miss Webber and thought I would say hello, can you fault me for wanting to talk to such a beautiful woman?"

"Well aren't you the charmer this evening Mr. Quartermaine!"

"I wouldn't call him a charmer unless you are talking about snakes. So, you've kissed her ass and tried the innocent card, not sure if the former worked, but the latter did not. What is it you really want? Why are you and the wicked witch out so late, doesn't she melt in the moonlight?"

"Jason! Don't be rude. Besides, the wicked witch, which I am not calling Tracy, melts with water…Moonlight could pertain to werewolves but…again, I'm not calling your daughter a werewolf, Mr. Quartermaine…I think I've reached my word limit for the night…Jason, I'll be over there, waiting to be seen."

She heard Edwards's laughter and Jason's grumble of disapproval, but continued on her way. This was one conversation she had no desire to get in the middle of. Besides, the way she was feeling today, she was liable to insult the head of the family and be run out of Port Charles.

She'd just save her thoughts for Jason later. At some point they would get down to brass tacks…and really hash out this whole baby thing.

To be honest, she was still rather shocked that he'd agreed, happy, but shocked.

"What does Elizabeth need to be seen for? Is she alright? You and your thuggish ways didn't hurt that girl, did they?"

"She cut herself on a piece of glass and needed to get stitches, which she's already had. We…she's waiting to see if she can have blood drawn tonight, something about some special tests she wants to have done. I was hoping to find Alan or Monica and see if they could ask whoever, if they'd do the tests and get her the results back as soon as possible."

Wow…ramble much? It felt like he was channeling Elizabeth.

"Did you happen to take a blow to the head? I have not heard you say so much since…well, since Elizabeth had been kidnapped and you were trying to find her. I can…if you would like, I can talk to the lab and ask them to run the tests she requires and put a rush on them."

"I have not…well, yes I did sustain a blow to my nose…but that is neither here nor there." This always happened. Elizabeth changed him, not in a bad way, just made him more…raw. Made his feelings and emotions more real, it was both a liability and an incredible gift. "If you were to do this…favor, what do you want in return?"

"Why would you think I want anything from the likes of you?"

"I know you Old Man, you always want something. Nothing is ever free or done from the good of your greedy, black little heart. So spill it, what does this favor require from me or us?"

Jason watched as the wheels turned ever so slowly behind Edward's eyes. The gleam in his eyes, he didn't have to question, he knew Edward was mentally tallying which favor would guarantee him the best outcome. He didn't like it but had to admit, the Old Man was as shrewd as ever.

"If you had not been so…suspicious and skeptical, I would have just done it and gone on my merry way, but since you think you are all-knowing, I think you and Miss Webber should join me for supper, tomorrow evening, say six o'clock?"

"Supper, that's what you want? There has to be more to it than that."

"Not at all, I think a simple dinner is just the thing, steak and lobster or a simple steak dinner or whatever it is you crave, it's obvious you don't have discerning tastes. We can share a lovely meal and shoot the breeze as you young people say. So, what is your answer?"

Gritting his teeth, the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with Edward, but, he couldn't say no either. Elizabeth had pinned all her hopes and dreams on this baby and for some reason, he chose not to examine too closely, he didn't want to let her down.

"We'll be there. Call me with the place when you decide. Shall I tell her to head up to the lab?"

"Sounds good to me my boy. You take good care of her, she looks tired…my secretary will call tomorrow with the location. Good night." Edward said and then turned and returned to his daughter's side.

Jason heard Tracy question what their 'talk' was about, but didn't stick around to hear more. He'd had more than enough of the Quartermaine's to last a lifetime.

With her gaze set somewhere else, Jason took a moment to really study her, and had to agree, she did look tired. Maybe all the stress of working up the courage to ask him, had taken its toll.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and watched as she jumped slightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you; I just wanted you to know we can go up to the lab if you like."

"Is Edward still here? I'd like to thank him for doing this. Wait, did you tell him why we wanted to do this?"

"He was standing with Tracy but I don't see her, maybe she was taken into an exam room, I don't really know. As for what he knows, nothing, we haven't even settled everything yet. I didn't think it prudent to start sharing our plans before they were even concrete."

"Thank goodness. Edward's a nice man…but if he heard baby in any sentence, he'd be rushing off, shouting heir to the world and purchasing everything our child would need, for every step of its development. You are right though, we do need to hash out all the details, so let's go get all the blood work done, so we can visit the clinic tomorrow."

After explaining everything to the lab technician, and then explaining the need to keep things quite, they managed to have the needed tests run and were promised, if they'd wait an hour or two, he could hand the results to them then.

With an affirmative nod, the lab technician pocketed Jason's cell phone number and then got to work.

Jason led Elizabeth to an empty room. This wasn't the ideal place to have this sort of conversation but with the speed things were moving, it would have to do.

As they both took a seat on one of the beds, Jason looked to Elizabeth and waited to hear what she had to say. When five minutes passed and nothing was said, he took the initiative and began.

"So…my wants in this is…I want to be a part of this pregnancy, from hormones to cravings, from morning sickness to doctor's appointments. I don't want to miss a thing. I want to be able to see the child once it is born, whenever I want. I want all special occasions spent together. I want you to move into a more roomy and safe home. You'll have a guard who is going to go everywhere with you, play it off however you wish, but there is no bending on that. There will also be a guard on the baby if you plan to leave him or her in daycare when you go back to work. I promise not to tell Sonny or Carly."

"How are you going to be able to accomplish visiting and helping me while pregnant, and not have people wonder if this is your child?"

"Actually, that will be easy. Remember when I asked you to go away with me?"

He waited to hear what she'd say, but hadn't been expecting her tears.

"What…what's wrong?"

"Of course I remember. I also remember it being my biggest regret…I stayed for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to go, I really did, but thought I had to honor some…childish love…I am sorry I didn't take your hand."

"Thanks, but you don't need to apologize, it is what it is, we've moved past it. Anyway, I didn't bring it up to make you feel bad. The reason is, I met some people while traveling and have stayed friends with them. Luca and Alexander and both in the 'guarding' business and no one knows of them. They like to remain on the down low, so if I brought them both here and you could pick the one you are most comfortable with, you both could act like you are dating…With my business I could play it off as being interested in the new person and befriend him…it isn't ideal by any means, but if you want to keep this a secret, it is the best bet."

"So, you get them in to town within the next few days, I get to know them and then me and one of them go on vacation and I hopefully come home pregnant?"

"You wouldn't have to take the vacation this way, but yeah, that would work. Does this mean you agree to my terms?"

"Like I said Jason, I was being selfish when I first started thinking about this. I can live with your terms. Can I add one more before we shake on it?"

"What?"

For some reason, his heartbeat increased and a film of sweat coated his palms.

"If…when…we start dating or seeing other people, we have the right to not want our child around them. I don't want to confuse our child with people who won't be in our lives long. Unless there is a ring on it, then and only then, can our child be introduced and the secret told."

"I can live with that. For some reason, I thought you were going to ask something completely different."

"Such as?"

"That's just it, I don't have a clue, but I'll admit to being worried."

"Jason I trust you, you wouldn't have suggested what you did and asked for what you did, unless you were sure. So, do we shake on it?"

Oh how he didn't want to do this, but knew it had to be done. "Well, we could, but what's to stop one of us from suddenly changing the deal? Would…I hate to even ask, but to protect all of us, I think the only way to go about finalizing this is to put it down on paper…in front of a lawyer."

"You…you want to…" Elizabeth said but trailed off.

He watched as she took a deep breath and fought her first instincts.

Offering her time to get her thoughts in order, he simply sat and waited.

"I guess I can see why this would be important. Sorry, you're right; it is the best way to handle this and gives us the best security for our child, but who?"

"Luca's dad is a lawyer, so I can ask Luca to have his dad come with them from Chicago and get everything worked out, but we won't wait for them to show up, we'll get started, okay?"

"Okay…yeah…sure. Let's do it. Is, Alexander from Chicago too? Think he has the tes-" Elizabeth began but was cut-off by the sound of his phone ringing.

Jason smiled as he answered his phone.

"Sure, we'll be there shortly."

After hanging up, they both stood and smiled. For some reason, Jason felt the need to hug her and did just that.

"We could be parents soon. This is so…unreal but…the longer I think about it, the more I want it. Thank you for giving me something I always wanted but was too afraid to try for. And no, Alex is from Mexico."

"Thank you Jason. Thank you for making all my dreams come true. I've never had a truer or better friend than you."

"You are making my dreams come true too." And that was the truth, but being looked on as just a friend, it shockingly hurt his heart. He had time though; he'd make her fall in love with him. She'd even admitted that she had wanted his love, so maybe she could and would again.

"Let's go get the results and get to bed. By the way, we have to appear for a meal with Edward tomorrow evening. It was his price for getting us in so quickly…"

Her laughter was loud and full, but tinged with exhaustion. "Trust the old goat to want something. I guess he could have asked for our first born, but settled for a meal…"

'…First born…' Echoed in his head and left a warmth in its wake. Figuring he should try to play it coy, he said, "Why Miss Webber, are you planning on having more than one baby with me?"

Watching her eyes practically grow two sizes, he couldn't hold back the laugh. Although, this time, it was his turn to sound somewhat tired.

"I…you know, I never thought about it, but maybe. I always wanted my house filled with children. You feel up to having a brood with me?"

"How about we get this pregnancy started and over with before we start planning for a baker's dozen."

They laughed together as they exited the room.

"Could you imagine though? My god, I really would need a nanny for thirteen kids."

"I think I'd be demanding to do it the old fashioned way after the first. The idea of…spurting into a cup…isn't overly sexy."

"Be happy that's all you have to do. I have to deal with a doctor sticking the equivalent of a turkey baster up my crotch."

Knowing there was something he'd like to stick up her and it had nothing to do with a baster…caused a delicious little quiver to rock through his lower regions and a lift of his dick.

"Next topic…"

"Why Jason, is our talk having an effect on you?"

"You could say that, now hush, we have results to get."

Today was the one month mark. They'd been inseminated; one month ago today, so today was the day…the day they'd find out if they were pregnant or not.

They both knew that you could find out a little earlier, but after a long and drawn out discussion, they agreed that they'd wait for the one month mark.

"Jason can you believe it? We could be pregnant!"

She saw the indulgent little smile, but knew, he was just as excited as her.

"Well, are you going to take the test or are you just going to stand around and ramble?"

She'd felt differently the last few weeks. Her breasts were tender and ached at odd intervals throughout the day. She was craving some odd things, even though she knew the cravings really wouldn't kick in till later in development. In all honesty, she believed they were pregnant. If asked, she'd swear that she could feel their child growing in her womb.

"Okay, let's do this."

She moved to the bathroom and peed on all six tests. She knew it was overkill, but she'd grabbed three and Jason had done the same.

"To be sure." They'd both said.

After setting each test on the counter, she went back to her bedroom and together they waited. Hands held and all hopeful expressions.

Words it seemed were not needed in this moment. Ever since she had gone to him with the favor, their friendship seemed to have grown. They were no longer just friends. They were so much more, so much so, she couldn't find a name for it.

As the timer went off, Jason vaulted off the bed so fast, that she couldn't stop herself from bouncing and landing on her butt, on the floor.

"Jason!"

With a guilty face, Jason turned to her as he made it through the door. "Sorry…I guess I'm more excited than I realized."

"Well? What do they say?"

"A plus means pregnant a minus not?"

"Yes! So what do they say? Don't be playing coy right now, I need to know or I will tackle your ass like a pro linemen going for a touchdown!"

"This might be a slight to my manhood, but does a lineman go for a touchdown?"

"Jason Morgan! How the hell should I know? Are we or aren't we?"

"Four yeses and two no's." Jason said with a blinding smile.

"Okay, that's good news. We have an appointment with the OBGYN next week, so we'll get our definitive answer then. If you want, we can take a couple more tests while we wait, over the week."

"Just to be sure." They said as one.

"Mr. Morgan, Miss Webber, Doctor Levi will see you now."

They sat in the little cubicle of a room, normally this small of a room, made Elizabeth antsy but right now, she just wanted to know.

"Hey you two, how have you been? I hear there were four positive pregnancy tests, that's always a good thing."

"We've been good…I…there were four positives, yes…but…I started bleeding this morning…" Elizabeth said in a sad little voice.

She watched as Jason's head whipped around. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…I was scared-" Elizabeth said and then burst into tears, stalling anything else she might have wanted to say.

It was almost instantaneous, her tears started and his arms were around her, offering her comfort and strength.

"Hey, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I have the blood work right here but have yet to have a chance to look it over."

"So?"

Both were so intent on watching each other's face, they missed the look that passed over the doctors.

"Jason, Elizabeth… your blood work shows no pregnancy…I'm sorry, but don't worry-"

"Why, why would four of them say we were?" Jason asked, a slight catch in his voice.

"Were we…was I…pregnant?"

"Most likely. It would seem you suffered a chemical pregnancy. No one knows for sure, why this happens. I am sorry, I know you were both anxious and excited, but this is only a slight setback."

"When-" Jason began, but stopped, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying more.

"You can try again as soon as you like. Some people don't grieve at all, feeling it wasn't really a baby and others go through the natural motions of grieving. When you two are ready to try again, let me know and we can schedule another insemination. I'll leave you two for now. Elizabeth, make an appointment for late next week and we'll make sure everything is okay. I am sorry for your loss."

"Oh Jason, I really thought…I guess I was…I'm sorry, this has to be my fault."

With tears in his own eyes, Jason just pulled her closer. No words he could offer would make this alright, nothing he said or did could lessen their pain but together…they would get through this together and try again.


	7. Chapter 7

Beta'd by James. Hope you enjoy and will share your thoughts. Warning for language.

**Chapter Seven**

*Flashback*

"Jason, Elizabeth, it is so good to see you. Thank you for joining me for dinner."

"Didn't really have a choice did we Mr. Quartermaine?" Elizabeth replied.

"Nonsense, you had a choice. You could have decided the price of my favor was…too steep and left it at that. Jason seemed to think it was important enough to grant my favor, so…here we are."

"I don't know if I agreed so much as figured it was the quickest way to achieve what she needed. The fact that you used that moment to get something, speaks volumes about the type of person you are." Jason said.

"Yes, because blood tests are always needed right now and without a doctor's request?"

"Don't start plotting and planning-" Jason said but was interrupted.

"Hush my boy, you may think you are top dog in your…business, but we both know, even at my age, I'm still sharp and can find a plot or subterfuge in most anything. Since I went to the trouble of garnering what you needed, I took it upon myself to…dig a little deeper."

"So in other words Mr. Quartermaine, you decided you needed to know something and figured privacy was no never mind?" Elizabeth asked, but there was a bite to her voice.

"I suppose someone so young, would see it that way, when the truth of the matter is much simpler. I may not know the gist of what is going on, but I do know a baby is a part of the bargain."

"What bargain?" Jason asked but worried that this old man was sharper than even he gave him credit for.

"Do you think me daft boy? The tests you had done, were to check for compatibility when procreating, you were making sure you were both clean…do I need to continue?"

"Well, since you figure you know so much, please, continue." Elizabeth replied snottily.

"Ahh, the ignorance of youth…If I have you two pegged, which I believe I do, then I believe you two are going to conceive a child together. Jason, even this thuggish one, believes too much in family, and wants to be a part of his child's life. You two most likely came to some sort of deal, otherwise, you would not have needed my help last night. Simple deduction says that you asked him not to tell anyone, most likely because of the people he spends his time with. The one thing I haven't been able to figure out yet, why would you go such a clinical way, when there is obvious feelings between the two of you? A woman doesn't ask a friend to give her a baby, a woman asks the man she loves that, so I have to question why you would go this way, but again, the answer to that seems simple. The people in Jason's life would not take kindly to being placed second or even third. Then the question arises about you Jason…Why would you agree to give a friend a baby? If I'm right, and I often am, I believe that you love her as well but you've spent so long picking up the pieces for everyone else and doing…questionable activities, that you don't believe you have a right to happiness, but the longing won out in the long run."

"So what? You think you have us pegged and you get or want what out of this?" Elizabeth asked.

"I may have it all wrong, I am sure it happens on occasion. Never to me, but…Do not look at me so cautiously, what I want is simple."

"Old man, nothing with you is ever simple or easy." Jason replied testily.

"Well, as you are so fond of reminding me, I am an old man. When you get to my age, you begin to questions certain things and while the Quartermaine legacy will live on in a few others, our line is becoming…short. For my silence, all I want is the chance to get to know my great grandchild."

"Why, so you can pit another generation against each other, so you can generate the outcome you want?"

'Believe me, since losing my precious Lila…consider me tamed."

"That would be like calling the devil a misunderstood teddy bear." Elizabeth said.

Edward's laughter was rich and full of delight, but Elizabeth could hear the underlying sadness beneath it.

"My girl, you will make a wonderful addition to the Quartermaine family. Someday, maybe not tomorrow or even next month, but someday, I will have the pleasure of calling you my daughter-in-law."

"Can we get on with this meal? You've kept us here for over an hour already, let's get on with it or consider the night done." Jason said but knew Edward would not admit defeat so easily.

"Yes, yes…Shall we order? Elizabeth, what would you like to eat?"

"I'll have the Wasabi Crusted Ahi Fresh Tuna."

*End Flashback*

"Are you going to phone Edward and tell him the news?" Elizabeth asked.

"He doesn't need to know. When we conceive, then we can share our happy news. Let's just get you home and we can…we'll talk and-"

"Talk and what? Jason I lost our baby, how can you even stand to be in my presence?"

"It is our loss. There is no reasoning behind this loss, but it doesn't mean we love that baby any less. I know it was too early to tell sex and such, but would you be against doing something for our baby? It may be gone, but it will never be forgotten."

"Oh Jason! That is beyond the sweetest thing…you…I…thank you. Thank you for understanding and wanting to do something for our lost child."

"A life is a life, and though it ended before it could barely begin, it doesn't lessen our love for it."

"What did you have in mind?" Elizabeth asked, tears streaming down her face.

If asked, she would have never believed Jason to be so…sentimental. So many things in his life were for the moment, that she thought this lost baby would be the same. She couldn't be happier to be proved wrong.

The ache in her heart was sharp and felt like it would never heal.

"I haven't really thought much on it, I'm still in shock but…what would you think about me purchasing a new bench, with the engraving 'Gone but never forgotten' or planting a tree up at the overlook?"

"Do you…Is…do you think anyone would know?"

"So long as we know, that is all that would matter. Do you have a better idea?"

"No…no I like the idea of the bench. Then when we sit there, we'll know we are thinking and remembering…Could we also get a shadow box and put the baby blanket I bought and the little outfit and stuffed zebra you bought? To keep them…"

"I like that idea. Let's go home."

Elizabeth heard the slip but was too emotionally drained to think more on it or admit, how wonderful it sounded.

Jason knew that things were heating up business wise, but still tried to find the time to sneak away and spend time with Elizabeth. They'd had the second implantation done almost two months ago, but had both agreed, they'd wait to find anything out.

He felt cowardly agreeing, but he didn't want to hurt like they had when they discovered the loss of their first child.

They'd both grown closer together. It was an experience that would forever bond them. Even now, months after the dinner with Edward, his words still haunted Jason. 'You'll be my daughter-in-law eventually.' Or something to that effect.

Alex was playing the boyfriend in public but if Jason were honest with himself, some days it seemed more than an act. From the moment they met, they'd been best of friends. Elizabeth had decided a week after their loss that she was going to take her vacation, only instead of going to Canada like she had wanted; claiming it wasn't the right time, she and Alex went to Mexico.

Luca and Tito came for two weeks, but decided there was no reason to stay when Alex was 'chosen'.

He and Elizabeth had worked out a legally binding document with Tito, with a caveat saying they'd keep trying until a baby was conceived or both parties were no longer interested in conceiving.

They were set to see the doctor on the ten week mark, which was tomorrow. They were both hopeful. Her breasts were tender, her period was late and as of last week, she'd been throwing up at odd hours of the day.

While he was hopeful, he was also terrified. In his heart, he knew they were pregnant, but a sheen of fear seemed to settle over his heart. They'd had one positive already and…stopping his thoughts before they could get a good foothold; Jason forced himself to be more positive.

Thankfully, he was torn from repeating his morose thoughts, when the phone on his desk rang.

"Are you going to be able to make it to the appointment?"

"Your appointment is for ten, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because…" He said and then trailed off. He didn't want to go, but he didn't have a choice. "My plane leaves at noon. Sonny needs me to fly back down to Columbia. The man we had taking care of our coffee fields has suddenly disappeared and his step-daughter has…stepped into his shoes…It all seems fishy, so I must go."

"Of course, because to Sonny, you are the only one who can ever handle anything. How did a slimy little gnat like him become boss? He can't handle anything, ever. Not his wife or kids or the business that he thinks makes him look all powerful, when in my opinion, just makes him look like the chump he is."

"Elizabeth…please, I don't want to fight or argue with you. He is family and I will always want to help him."

"I have no desire to fight or argue with you either Jason, but…damn it, why can't you see how much he uses you?"

Jason was about to respond when he heard Alex in the background.

"You have to go?"

"I do, my break just ended and I am needed…I'll see you tomorrow Jason."

"No, you'll see me tonight. It feels like forever since I last saw you."

"That's because it has. You were in Argentina last week for 10 days and in Cuba for 14 days before that. It feels like all we do anymore is talk on the phone, ever since…ever since I lost your baby…"

"Elizabeth, please, don't do that. It wasn't your fault. It just wasn't meant to be."

"Well, maybe this one won't be either…Jason you were shot by a sniper rifle, because you were trying to broker a better deal with the land owners, where you grow coffee! What am I…What if I'm not pregnant or this one doesn't take either? What am I supposed to do if you go and get yourself shot and killed?"

Knowing there was no right answer, he simply sighed. "I…I'll see you tomorrow. Want a hot chocolate?"

Hearing her sigh of defeat, he was about to sweeten the proverbial pot when she spoke. "I can't, if I'm pregnant, it isn't good for the baby…Just…I…bye Jason."

"Bye Elizabeth." He said with another weary sigh.

Things had been going so well and then all these trips out of country began to happen and…once again; she had closed herself off to him.

That first month after their loss, they'd spent a lot of time together. Often they fell asleep in each other's arms. Even with such a deep sadness weighing on them, it was some of the happiest days of his life.

"Hello again you two! I think you will be happy to hear, you are pregnant, about eight weeks along. Your hormone levels are a little low, so if you two wouldn't mind having an ultrasound-"

"Why would my hormone levels be low? Shouldn't they be getting higher?" She asked, fear coloring her words.

Elizabeth saw the look on the doctor's face and knew something wasn't right. "Let's do the ultrasound."

After getting situated and having the gel squirted on her stomach, she held firmly to Jason's hand.

"Doctor, what is it? You look like you know something but don't want to say it."

"Jason…look at the screen. What do you see, what don't you see?" Elizabeth asked bitingly.

"Will you two stop being cryptic, what's going on?"

Elizabeth could hear the fear in his voice, but felt empty and unable to vocalize her pain.

"I'm not trying to be cryptic Jason, it's just…I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat."

"What do you mean there is no heartbeat? There is a baby right, that means there has to be a…"

Elizabeth saw the moment he understood. For the second time, they'd felt great joy and had it ripped away.

"But…how? Why?"

"This is called a missed miscarriage; it looks like the fetus stopped developing at seven weeks. There are numerous reasons why this can happen, but nothing that will ease your pain. Elizabeth, I hate to ask this of you now, but I fear you have a decision to make."

"That was our baby!" He said, taking exception with the word fetus. "What…what kind of decision?" Jason asked once he was able to.

Putting her own sadness away for a moment, she gently sat up and embraced Jason. The man, who rarely showed emotion, was practically drowning in them.

"Shhh, it will be okay Jason. It may not feel like it right now, but…" She could say no more, her own emotions overtaking her. Like two lost little boats in a hurricane, they clung to one another, riding the waves of their emotions.

"I know this can't be easy and I am sorry for interrupting but I need to know…do you want to have a D&C or would you like to take the drug Misoprostol and see if that works to…finish the pregnancy?"

Hiccupping through her tears, Elizabeth asked, "Can't…won't it happen naturally?"

"You can wait and see if it happens naturally but…in my professional opinion, it is better to have the D&C than wait. None of my colleagues agree with that opinion but I don't think they see their patients are people, just numbers. The longer you wait for it to happen naturally, the more painful it can be on you mentally and emotionally."

"I don't think it matters how it happens, this is…the worst feeling in the world."

"Doctor, can…will…will the baby hurt her?" Jason asked.

"I don't think I understand."

Elizabeth wasn't sure what he was trying to ask either, but his grief was very plain to see.

"Our…our baby is dead! Dead but still inside her…" Jason said but broke down completely.

Unsure if she'd be able to shoulder both their grief but knowing for now, Jason was unable to handle anymore, she said, "Doctor, when can the D&C be performed?"

Just asking the question caused Jason to grip her tighter.

"If by this time next week, nature hasn't run its course, I'll have you scheduled for the procedure. I am so sorry you two. I can't imagine the pain you are going through but try to remember, God has a plan for everything."

Elizabeth scoffed at that, if 'He' had a plan for everything, then she must have been a horrible person in a different life, because she was being kicked when down, over and over again.

The doctor quietly exited the room. Giving them time to come to grips, if such a thing were possible.

Alone and not needing to be strong, they shared their grief and sadness. Their faces wet from crying an ocean of tears, an ocean of tears for a life barely begun.

Unsure about how much time had passed, Elizabeth wiped her tears from her eyes and realized, once again, she'd have to put on a brave front.

"Jason! Jason, your plane leaves in a half hour."

His plane? Why the hell should he care about making his plane? They'd just lost another baby. The last thing he was thinking of was work.

"Who cares?"

He watched as she seemed to try and bolster herself, "You do, it is your job and you can't let Sonny down."

It was said calmly enough, but he was sure if he looked deep enough, he'd also hear the bite of anger there as well.

"Look…I know you have to work. Go do what you must and then come home. We will need to discuss what we want to do about our baby. I want the doctor to do the D&C sooner if possible…hush, by doing it this way, we can actually have a funeral…"

"I don't want to leave! You need me…I need to be here, I need to be here for you but also for me. Please, please don't shut me out. We need each other; we need to stand strong together. I thought last time was…excruciating, but this time…that was our child Elizabeth."

"I need…I need you to go and finish whatever this is for Sonny. You said yesterday that you'd only be gone a few days. When you come home, we can prepare everything…I need some time…This hurts so badly Jason and I don't know how many more times I can go through this. I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry for our loss. Just…please go and we can make arrangements when you get home."

He watched as she pulled her shirt down, jumped off the bed and fled the room. Completely shocked but drowning in his own sadness.

"You can run Elizabeth, but when I get home, no more running, no more denying our feelings and what this is between us. No more hiding either. You are not a dirty little secret, you are the love of my life and I am so sorry I didn't realize that sooner. Edward was right! We will have our baby and many after that…" Jason said to the empty room.

With only moments to spare, Jason boarded the flight.

"You okay?" Francis asked.

"Not even remotely. I'm going to try and sleep…wake me when we get there." He said, with no intentions of sleeping, but needing the space. From his men, from the men he considered friends. They too didn't know what was going on and probably wouldn't understand if they did.

He saw the doubtful look in Francis's eyes, but had no desire to get into it. There was a conversation coming, but it would be between he and Elizabeth. Once and for all, he was going to lay all his cards on the table. It was time to take a chance, to risk it all. If he had learned nothing but this, life was too precious to waste and what greater thing was there to take a chance on, than for love.


	8. Chapter 8

Beta'd by the great James. Hope you enjoy. Warning for this chapter. Guests, if you have questions you'd like answered, PM me and I shall do my best to answer them.

Chapter Eight

"Francis! This is bullshit! We've been here for eight weeks. I need to go home. Figure this shit out or you can deal with this alone."

He didn't bother to explain why, it was no one's business but his but damn it, Elizabeth stopped taking his calls after the second week.

He couldn't really blame her. She'd had the D&C procedure two days after they found out. He had felt horrible for not being there but that was compounded when she phoned, in tears, barely able to speak. He managed to make out what it was she was saying, but just.

Not one baby but two…The other couldn't be seen because it was situated perfectly behind the first.

That information has sent him into a downward spiral for four days. For four days he drank, he fought and drank some more.

She'd planned a little funeral for the babies. It took place a few days after the procedure. He had sworn he'd make it home, that nothing would stop him…except a bullet did just that. He was laid up in the hospital for two weeks, one of which was spent in a coma, thanks to a particularly brutal blow to the head.

When he finally made it out of the hospital and was able to check his calls, there were thirty-one missed calls and sixteen voice messages.

The first few were nothing more than angry ranting's, after that, they were broken sobs and long minutes of silence.

Every day he phoned and left her a message, but they were never returned. Every day he phoned and talked to Alex and every day, those calls left him feeling more and more devastated.

Before…there wasn't tangible proof of life. This time there was and while he had danger and more danger to distract him slightly, nothing took away the knowledge that he had lost three children in four months.

And the knowledge that Elizabeth wasn't moving on, wasn't dealing with this loss, hurt his heart more than he could say. She'd taken a leave of absence from work, rarely left her home and refused to see everyone.

According to Alex, he was allowed in once a day, but if he tried to get her to talk about anything, he was quickly ushered out the door.

Realizing ten in the morning was too early to drink, but unable to deny the pull from the bottle sitting on the coffee table, Jason did something he had never done before. Drank and drank and then drank some more. By five o'clock, when Francis walked through the door, Jason was unable to stand.

"What the hell is going on with you? Ever since we got here, it is like a dark cloud is hanging over your head. You got shot because you weren't paying attention!"

Realizing a moment too late, that drinking so much was a bad idea, Jason spoke. "Why wouldn't I! My babies are dead! Dead Francis! Not one or two, but three! How much am I supposed to endure? We get our hopes up and then they are dashed! She won't talk to me, won't return my calls, nothing. We should be sharing our grief, going through this together, but no! Because Sonny said this was important, because no one else could do it, I had to. I find out my babies are dead and I have to go to work and pretend like nothing has happened!"

"Jason?" Francis asked.

"We've been trying for what feels like forever but has only been a few months…Francis…I need to go home. She was forced to bury our children alone." He said and then his emotion took free rein, he could no longer bottle them up or contain them.

His tears were hot, so hot they felt like they seared his skin where they left tracks as they coursed down his face.

Francis had seen a lot in his lifetime, especially since coming to work for Corinthos/Morgan but one thing he had been sure of, he would never see his boss break down.

Seeing the man everyone thought Stonecold, breaking before his eyes, was almost too much for the veteran guard.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the her. They'd been dancing around their feelings for so long, it was almost choreographed by now, but to hear of their losses, when he didn't even know about them trying…made him feel like a heel.

Jason could have left three weeks ago, Francis would have handled everything, but not knowing the situation, he had made the snide remark about trying to duck out and leave the shit jobs to the higher up guards. He'd been joking but it had been a rough day and this humor probably hadn't reached his boss.

"Jason, I didn't know…I'm so sorry."

When only silence greeted him, he turned, ready to apologize more, only to see his boss passed out. His legs on the back of the sofa, his head resting at an odd angle on the floor, tear tracks still damp, trailing across his cheek.

Knowing there was nothing he could do to make up for this; he simply grabbed Jason in a fireman's hold and walked out of the house. Whether he liked it or not, Jason was going to be on the plane and headed for home. He'd stick around and make sure everything went smoothly. It was the least he could do.

"Johnny, I'm sending Jason home, pick him up and take him to Webber's place and then get on the plane and come help me."

"Why can't Jason handle it? I've got a hot date tomorrow night."

"Just do as I fucking say. Don't flake out on me Johnny. This is very important, possibly the most important thing you could do."

"But…"

"I will shoot you myself if you screw this up. I mean it, drop him off at Elizabeth's, shove him through the door and have men secure the place so neither can leave, don't fail me Johnny."

With that, Francis hung up and concentrated on getting to the airport safely.

Jason was right, it was time he went home and he better not fuck up this time.

"Johnny, what was that about?"

"Alex…where the hell did you come from?"

"Well…my mom and dad…they fell in love and thought…let's have kids…and budda boom, budda bing…here I am."

"Funny, but not what I was meaning, where's Elizabeth?"

"At home…still. Cody took over for an hour. She…I thought a hot chocolate and some brownies might…I don't know, make her feel a little better."

"Oh, well, so long as you didn't leave her unguarded. Jason's been adamant about her being guarded, although why…I have no idea."

Alex knew he wasn't touching that one, simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I should get the treat and get back. Take care Johnny."

"Ya, ya…you too."

He was three quarters of the way back to Elizabeth's when he realized, Johnny never did say what was going on. In one way he hoped Jason was coming home soon. Everything he tried was for naught and it hurt, in more ways than he could say that he couldn't reach her.

He'd tried not to, but he couldn't help it. He'd fallen for his charge. They'd gotten close and he had to admit, she was an amazing woman, unlike anyone he had ever met before.

The only flaw he could find, she was in love with his friend slash boss.

Elizabeth sat in her living room, on the couch Jason had special ordered, stating a comfortable couch made the home.

She looked at the things that made this place a space she felt comfortable in, but lately, all she felt was hollow.

She should be pregnant, but for some reason, she was being denied that simple pleasure. When she'd first thought up this plan, this…favor, she never would have imagined that it would be this hard or filled with such sorrow.

When Alex had stopped by a few hours ago, she'd forced herself to try. Try to engage in conversation, try to remember the fun she had with him, in general, she just wanted to try but after twenty long minutes of giving it her best, she just couldn't do it.

In two hours, she'd venture out of the house. It took from the time she woke till midnight before she could muster enough strength and fortitude to make the trek to her children's grave. When Jason was 'kept' away on business, she went to the city, purchased a new bench for down on the docks and took the inscribed one home.

Not home as in the place she lived, but home to where her children rested. A small little graveyard that rarely saw anyone new, it was pretty much from a bygone era but to Elizabeth, it was the only place that felt right. So now, when she went to spend an hour or more with her babies, she spent it with all three.

Ever since they were laid to rest, with only her to say goodbye, she spent hours with them, talking, hoping…

Being with them offered her more comfort than spending an hour with anyone alive. Not only had her secret cost her, her children, but it had also cost her the chance to grieve with others.

At ten to midnight, she finally left the couch and made her way upstairs. The evenings were warm but there was a cool breeze the last few nights, so she would grab a sweater to go over her simple black dress, so as not to be chased off before she was ready.

Halfway down the stairs, she heard her front door open and then close quickly. There was a slight thump, but she paid it no heed. "Alex, you know this is my time, I don't need you watching over me, there is nothing to watch over. I am simply going to visit-"

Her breath rushed out of her and before she realized it, she was kneeling next to the unconscious man.

"Jason! Jason, wake up, what's wrong, have you been shot?"

"Francis? Please, stop yelling! I know it was stupid to drink so much but…it hurts, it hurts so badly. I just…I need her in my arms, I need her to know how much I lo-"

"Jason?"

"Elizabeth?!"

His head was pounding like a marching band was moving through his brain. He had to be hallucinating. What other options was there. He knew he was still in Cuba, he'd had this dream once before too and it had broken his heart to wake up.

When small, warm hands gently caressed his cheek, his eyes snapped open and he exclaimed, "Elizabeth?!" Both a question and shock, inflicting his words, but still sure he was dreaming and this was just another form of torture his mind managed to cook up.

"Yup…"

"What are, how did you…why are you in Cuba?"

"Seriously, were you shot in the head?"

Doing inventory of himself, he took a moment before answering. "Drunker than a skunk on Sunday, feeling the starting effects of a hangover, broken heart, crushed soul, lost, lonely, confused…yup, that's all there but no wounds, at least on the outside…"

"What the hell are you talking about? Why are you broken hearted, why is your soul crushed? What reason do you have to be lost, lonely and confused? I am the one who was forced to attend the funeral of our babies, all by myself while you went off to save the world for Sonny and his flunkies. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to wake up and be so completely empty, it fucking hurts to fall asleep while crying my eyes out and know, you don't care, that you'd rather kiss your friend/boss/family's ass than be there, holding me and comforting me."

If this was a dream, it was pulling no punches; it was going for his nuts and looked to be not taking prisoners. On the off chance that this was really happening and he was just too far gone, he spoke from his heart.

"I don't know what I'm talking about, but I know what I said is true. I'm broken hearted because the woman I love has had to go through all of this alone, when I should have been by her side. My soul is crushed because we've lost three babies and I never had the chance to hold them or touch them or tell them what a beautiful miracle they were. I'm lost because I've been doing the same thing for so many years, that I don't know how to stop trying to save Sonny. It would be simpler if I knew how to let him stand on his own two feet, but I feel like I have to do it, even when it causes me to rip out my own heart. I'm lonely because I have had to spend the last two months by myself. When all I've wanted was you in my arms, holding me as tightly as I wanted to hold you and to know, we had each other to get us through our grief, but because of stupidity and obligation, I've condemned us both to go through this alone. And lastly, I'm confused because every time I think of you or speak of you, my heart practically vibrates from my chest. My body and mind, my heart and soul cry out for you and I've fought it out of fear. I left you to carry the weight of everything because I've been a coward and so sure that I was the reason our babies died…"

She wanted to laugh, but it felt like forever since the last time she knew joy and the energy it took to even crack a smile was something she hadn't been expecting.

The last few months had been harder than she realized. She was a shell of a human being but seeing Jason and touching him…it was as if electricity flowing directly through her.

Not giving herself a moment to question or to allow that familiar ache of anger and resentment a chance to form, she leapt, proverbially, knowing it was time to either sink or swim.

Her lips fused with his.

It had been so long since they had shared an intimacy like this and it felt better than she could have hoped.

When the fingers of his left hand tangled in her hair, drawing her closer and his right hand pulled her body over his, it was the euphoric feeling of coming home, of being right where you belonged.

With little thought, she allowed her body to act and react accordingly. Allowing him to lead and then taking the lead when her passion dictated.

She felt the hard tiled floor beneath her as Jason shifted their position, but couldn't find the will to complain.

Lost in the feelings he was exacting on her body, she gave herself to him completely.

Lips devouring…

Fingers clenching…

Tongues dueling…

Bodies in total alignment…

For once, they were on the same page. Time was theirs and it seemed, the chance was no longer too big to take. It was big enough to have to take.

Clothes were tossed carelessly away, one piece at a time.

Finally! When skin was bare and bodies once again aligned, they opened their eyes. Opened them so much, they'd both swear they could see into the others soul. This…moment, was out of time and space, it was…as if the stars and planets aligned with their joining.

When their bodies were fully connected, perhaps more so than any person here to for…that was when the sparks really began to fly.

Each thrust of his hips was met with an equal movement by her. For even those few seconds where he almost withdrew completely, was too much to bear.

Nibbling…

Biting…

Licking…

It was everything either of them could have hoped for and so much more.

For untold minutes, she was forced to dance the fine edge of a daggers blade. So close to euphoric bliss but held back, just the tiniest bit to prevent completion.

"Jason…please…I need…don't stop."

"I couldn't…even if…I wanted…to."

"Right there baby, right there…don't…I need…"

She couldn't have said what exactly she needed, to give her that final push. Her entire being seemed to thrum with the 'almost there' bliss that filled her.

With heavily lidded eyes, she saw Jason was on the same precipice as her.

"Jason…it hurts so good…please…more…give me more…"

Unsure whether her pleas were falling on deaf ears or not, she relished the moment when he switched their positions again. The new angle and deeper penetration was just the key.

Swivelling her hips every other thrust, clenching her inner muscles when he was seated the deepest within her.

She saw the moment that his control slipped; his face looked almost feral in its orgasmic crescendo. As she felt his body's climax, hers joined him. It was the final push that she needed.

"Oh God…Elizabeth…I…don't stop, please…"

"Jason…that's…my…God…harder, don't let…this feeling…stop."

Long minutes later, both sweaty, panting and finding it almost impossible to calm the seismic like tremors that continued to flow through them, Elizabeth flopped to her side.

"No…no…" Jason said, following her and keeping them intimately joined. "Round one…can't end…like that…I didn't see…fireworks yet…must…try harder."

"Speaking of…harder…aren't you…tired?"

"You are in…my arms…damn it…can't catch…breath…I may never…sleep again."

Trying to talk without having to pause, Elizabeth said, "I have personal lube upstairs…damn it…you stole all my air too…and it heats up and…causes interesting and pleasurable…finishes…"

"What are you…waiting for? Go…get…it!"

"I'd have to move and I…I don't want to. Later, it can be used later…when we actually make it to a bed."

She wasn't sure why she was so…gung-ho about this happening, but she refused to question it. She'd spent months being a shell of herself, for once in those long months, she almost felt like herself again.

When Jason suddenly sat up and he slipped from her body, she actually heard herself whine. "No…"

"Hush…this floor is hard."

"Ya think?"

"I do, don't be a brat."

"Jason…you have foreskin? You aren't circumcised? I'm shocked!"

"…"

"What…? It is a valid observation…"

Without a second thought, she dropped to her knees in front of him, quickly slipping his still hardened flesh between her lips. His guttural groan and her little moan of pleasure was the only thing to break the silence that had settled over the house.

From a night that seemed eons ago, Elizabeth remembered thinking Jason was the best looking man she had ever seen, she could now add, the best tasting one too.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to my beta, and huge thanks for the faves, follows and reviews. Hope you enjoy, warnings still stand for this chapter.

Chapter Nine

"Jason…wake up, please!" Elizabeth begged.

She'd seen him shot and bleeding, frozen and so close to deaths door, but never had she heard him like this.

Her own grief was always front and center, never really receding, but the longer she had gone on alone, the duller everything seemed to get, but seeing and hearing Jason, caused her grief to rise to the forefront again.

Anger was still there as well, but hearing his heart felt plea, had helped to ease it somewhat.

"Jason, you need to wake up, I can't…please."

Getting a mumbled reply, bolstered her to continue; only this time she shook him as she called his name and finally got a response.

"Eliz…Elizabeth…what's wrong?" Jason asked in a gravelly voice.

She watched as he scrubbed his hands down his face and finally took notice of the damn tracks, from tears that continued to fall.

"What's wrong? Jason, I've been trying to wake you for over five minutes…you were shouting out and crying. What's wrong?" She asked brokenly.

"I'm sorry…I should have mentioned…well…we need to talk."

"Talk, talk about what?"

"Everything…When I was in Cuba and set to come home, the night before, something went down…I don't know all the details, hence why I was there so long but it was supposed to be a simple meeting and suddenly a week later I wake up in the hospital from a coma…It took another week before I was even allowed out of the hospital but by that time…you weren't taking my calls. Which I understand and I can only say how sorry I am."

"You were shot?! Why in the hell didn't you tell me? Oh Jason, we need to stop this."

"Stop what?"

"Being idiots but mostly, we need to stop hurting one another; we need to lean on each other not push the other away. When I didn't hear from you…I thought you were blaming me and that hurt more than I can say, so instead of waiting for you to tell me you did in fact blame me and never wanted to see me again, I shut down and stopped talking to you. Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive, but silly girl, I could never blame you. What we've gone through is the worst feeling in the world, but there is no blame. Can you forgive me for thinking I could do everything and still make it back? If it helps at all, ever since I woke from my coma…I have the same nightmare, every time I fall to sleep, even when it is a five minute nap."

"We've been idiots. Let's just…move forward. Do you…would you...Ugh, I'm not saying this right, but would you tell me about your nightmare?"

Watching him take a deep breath, almost as if he was fortifying himself, Elizabeth realized, this was not going to be easy to hear.

"I don't remember the dreams really; it is more the feeling behind them. The only thing I do remember from the dream, are three pairs of eyes, staring at me accusingly and this disembodied voice or many voices, begging me to save them…I always feel completely drained when I wake up, as if I hadn't slept in months and there is always this overwhelming, crushing grief. If I had to hazard a guess, I think my failures and guilt and everything has rolled into one and plagues me when my defenses are lowest. I failed our children, but even more so, I failed you."

An idea struck her and she spoke before she could question whether it was a good idea or not. "Jason, do you want to come to the cemetery with me? I go every night, well, except for last night. Maybe you need a little closure too. I can't say it will work, but it does help me a little."

When he simply nodded his head, she climbed over top of him and ran to the bathroom. "Get dressed; I'll be ready in five."

"Don't you women all say that and then an hour or two later, finally show up?"

"Maybe your women, I'm not that high maintenance. Be ready mister, our children are waiting."

She was trying to sound more confident than she really felt, but knew, Jason needed this, needed her. Later, when they were done with the…who was she kidding, she'd never be done with her lost children, but both she and Jason needed to find some peace.

There was something she had meant to tell him last night, but couldn't for the life of her, remember what that was now.

Four and a half minutes later she was down the stairs and waiting by the door.

"Told you I'd be quick! What took you so long?"

"Had to find my clothes…you know, I'm still not sure how I got here. Yesterday I was yelling at Francis, after numerous drinks and then…here I am."

"You obviously found your clothes, but those aren't the ones you were wearing last night."

"Found my bag on the chair in the living room, after searching everywhere else."

"Well…that's good. Ready to go?"

"Honestly? I don't know…"

She could see the stark fear residing in his eyes and knew, even more so than her earlier thought, she really would have to be the strong one. She'd had two months of these moments, but gradually, they got a little better. She could make it through almost the whole visit without breaking down. Once home though, being all alone, she wallowed. Hopefully, this time, that would be different.

Taking his hand, she led him to her car.

"What about Alex?"

"Jason, he isn't welcome on these visits. He understands that I need to do them alone. He's a good friend but…"

"No, I think I understand."

"Jason…I'd like to introduce you to our babies."

He could hear the hitch in her voice and see how she instantly began to wring her hands.

Not able to stand being even a foot away from her, he pulled her slightly trembling form into his arms and knew it was more for him than it was for her.

"Hi babies…I'm your daddy…" It was too much, seeing the tiny little headstone and the epitaph and the bench... Completely broke his heart.

Unable to remain standing, he fell to his knees at the side of the grave.

He wept for all they had lost, for all the heartache and pain they had suffered. For all the false starts and should have's and could have's. He didn't have to be super Jason here, here he could be himself. A man…a man with many flaws, but the desire to be better and the desire to love, to love the woman by his side and someday soon he prayed silently, for children as well.

"Jason, Elizabeth…? What are you…why are you here? Jason, are you hurt?"

"Sonny…Carly…" Jason managed to say but couldn't find the will to lift his head.

This was not something he needed right now. Elizabeth had already mentioned feeling like she came in second or third and to have them show up now, while he tried to mourn…

Shakily placing his hands on the ground, He hoisted himself up and faced his friends.

"I don't know why you are here, but this is a private moment between Elizabeth and myself. I won't be available to work for…I honestly don't know how long. As you can see, this is an emotional time for me, for us and I would like you to leave us alone. I'll call you, when I am ready to."

"Jason-" Elizabeth said but was cut off.

"No, you were right, every time something is about to happen with us, Sonny or Carly find out and I'm suddenly gone for days, weeks or even months at a time. It isn't fair to you and it wasn't fair-" Trying to control the overwhelming emotions coursing through him, Jason tried again. "If it wasn't for Sonny's demands, I would have been by your side when you buried our children. I've bent over backwards catering to his and Carly's demands and the one time…"

"Children?" Sonny asked, almost reverently.

"Yes, it you must know, Jason and I suffered a missed miscarriage two months ago…and before that, a chemical pregnancy. If you two were the friends and 'family' you claim to be, you'd have known all of this, but because of your selfish natures and your me mentality coupled with your desire to be the most important people in his life, he couldn't even make it home for his babies funeral. But why should you care, the 'job' only almost killed him, so it is no skin off your teeth, right? If you were the friends he deserves, I wouldn't have had to ask him to keep everything a secret, I wouldn't have had to bur-" She just couldn't do it; it was as if her heart was being ripped out all over again.

Held firmly in Jason's arms, knowing for once she wasn't alone, she allowed herself to cry. Heart wrenching sobs tore from her, baring her soul and all her grief.

"Oh Elizabeth…I am so sorry." Carly said.

Those six words were more than enough to cause her to jerk her head up and stare at the blonde.

With shock shining in her eyes, she watched as Carly moved in front of Jason and before she could blink, she watched as her hand lifted and connected with Jason's face.

"You ass! Why would you lie to us, why wouldn't you tell us to take a long walk off a short pier? Jason, you made her bury the children alone, for what, to follow Sonny's orders? Where the hell is the man who could stand on his own two feet?" Carly practically screamed.

"I have to agree…Jason, you could have come to me, I would have handled the situation myself, or I would have sent Johnny and Francis. Elizabeth, I swear, I didn't know. I owe you a huge apology. I never would have sent him away. These past few months, Jason's seemed…edgy, unfocused, like he was missing a piece of himself, so I thought sending him away for a job would be the best thing for him, help him to find himself again…Honestly, I thought he was experiencing itchy feet again…" Sonny said morosely.

"You…you didn't track me down?"

"Not at all, I didn't even know you were home, Carly and I come here once a week to…visit our own lost child. Though we have Michael and Morgan, we have never forgotten this child. Probably never will. Jason…I know we haven't been as close as we once were, but maybe once you've settled back in and have had a chance to come to grips, you and Elizabeth might join us for supper?"

"I…I…" Jason said, but couldn't form a response.

"No, no, I understand, truly. Take all the time you need. Our…friendship has never been an easy one Elizabeth but perhaps now…I'm getting help for a problem and I know it may be hard to believe, but I have changed…Please, just think about it okay?"

"Umm…yeah…"

Together, they watched the older couple walk away.

Elizabeth was completely floored. "We've been bigger idiots that even we imagined!"

"How do you not hate me? This is all my fault. Elizabeth, I am so very sorry. They weren't wrong. I've been floundering for years, taking orders so I didn't have to make decisions of my own and take the blame for risks that could prove too great. I've been so scared since you were kidnapped, that I just stopped…living. If I followed someone else's orders, then the blame couldn't be placed on me. Your hero has feet of clay."

"I don't hate you Jason, I never could. I love you and that will always, always be front and center. This is no more your fault than it is mine. We were working under a false belief and in doing so, my fears led us astray. You do not have feet of clay; you are a man and hopefully after all of this, my man."

"What I realize…I've always been your man Elizabeth. Just on occasion, an idiotic, moronic one, who thought he knew better and tried to protect you by pushing you away, when what I should have been doing is holding you tighter and never letting you go."

"Does this mean we're going to be idiots together?"

"Absolutely, I wouldn't have it any other way, Forrest."

"Did you just call me Forrest Gump?"

"Well…maybe…"

"Why?"

"I have no idea. I was thinking of the line 'Life is like a box of chocolates…' and I…don't know, it seemed to fit the moment, kind of, sort of..."

"You are a strange woman Elizabeth, but I love you with all my heart."

"And I love you!"

''I thought, that it mattered, what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. From the very start, down deep inside, I've been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way."

"Jason?"

"Don't worry, that wasn't a proposal…yet. We'll get there though. Let's spend some time with our children and then go visit the old man."

"I…wow…" Since his return, things felt like they were on warp drive and for most people, that would probably be terrifying, but to see a future you had dreamed about for untold years, finally heading in the right direction…she wasn't scared. Through all their losses, they finally understood the true meaning of living and were going to grab on with both hands. "You are right, we need to see Edward. I kept meaning to go see him, to tell him, but…it hurt so much and I…I didn't think I was strong enough."

"You are the strongest woman I know. You never should have had to even try to do this on your own. From here on out, I'll be around so much, you'll get sick of me."

"Not possible. I could never grow sick of you, you are a part of me, as cheesy as it sounds, you complete me."

"Maybe a little cheesy, but I agree, you complete me, like I never knew was possible. Since I woke up, a piece of me has been missing, and had I bothered to look, I would have seen that it was you, all along. Elizabeth…Would…I know there was nothing to bury with our first child, but could we have a headstone made for him or her too, or add to this one, it would feel more…right that way?"

"You keep doing and saying the perfect things and we'll never get out of bed." Elizabeth said with a small smile.

"Is that a yes?" Jason asked.

Realizing he needed her to be completely serious, she offered him a small smile and a nod of her head.

"Oh Jason, you have been haunted by this for two months. Go; spend some time with your children. I'm going to head back to the car, give you the time you need."

"Don't…don't you need…"

"I talk to them all the time Jason, this is your time. You need the chance to have your say. Trust me, it will help, it isn't an instant fix but it gradually helps."

Kissing him on his cheek and giving him a fortifying hug, Elizabeth turned and walked back to the car.

Life wasn't perfect by any means, but it was starting to look up. Now…then she realized, yes, she wanted to be a mother, more than she could say, but it didn't have to be right now, it could happen when it happened. They were no longer fighting the pull; they were on the same page. For once, she wasn't scared of what tomorrow would bring.

The ticking clock that seemed to hang over her, since her rape, felt as if it had disappeared. Today was the gift, all the tomorrow's to come; she'd greet them when they arrived.


End file.
